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NED:
From the beginning of time, man has had the need
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to capture the beauty of the human form.
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Painters painted, sculptors sculpted.
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But none of these forms seemed worthy of the subject.
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Then man found a way to fuse beauty and art into a perfect new form...
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The calendar.
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♪ I love, I love, I love my calendar girl
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♪ Yeah, sweet calendar girl
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♪ I love, I love, I love my calendar girl
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♪ Each and every day of the year
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♪ January
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♪ You start the year off fine
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♪ February
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♪ You're my little valentine
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♪ -March
-I'm gonna march you
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♪ Down the aisle
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♪ -April
-You're the Easter Bunny
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♪ When you smile
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♪ Yeah, yeah
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♪ My heart's in a whirl
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♪ I love, I love, I love my little calendar girl
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♪ -Every day
-Every day
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♪ -Every day
-Every day
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♪ Of the year
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♪ -May
-Maybe if I ask
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♪ Your dad and mom
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♪ -June
-They'll let me take you
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♪ To the junior prom
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♪ July
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♪ Like a firecracker I'm aglow
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♪ -August
-When you're on the beach
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♪ You steal the show
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♪ Yeah, yeah
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♪ My heart's in a whirl
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♪ I love, I love, I love my little calendar girl
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♪ -Every day
-Every day
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♪ -Every day
-Every day
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♪ Of the year
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♪ -September
-Light the candles
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♪ At your Sweet Sixteen
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♪ -October
-Romeo and Juliet
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♪ On Halloween
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♪ -November
-I'll give thanks
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♪ That you belong to me
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♪ -December
-You're the present 'neath
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♪ My Christmas tree
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♪ Yeah, yeah
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♪ My heart's in a whirl
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♪ I love, I love, I love my little calendar girl
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♪ -Every day
-Every day
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♪ -Every day
-Every day
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♪ Of the year ♪
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GIRL: I'm gonna take dance class.
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NED: It was 1962, and here I was at UCLA.
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And it seems like another planet.
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I was lost, and I was lonely.
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And I hadn't found any of my classes.
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UCLA must stand for You can't locate anything.
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Okay, but that's the past.
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Today, I swore I'd make one new friend if it killed me.
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Then I saw her.
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Everything you'd want in a friend.
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Blonde hair and a great body.
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Yeah, I'd talk to her.
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I'd ask directions.
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I'd kill two birds with one stone.
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-GIRL: What's going on?
MAN: They're stuffing a phone booth.
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GIRL: All of you?
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NED: Okay, so now I'm standing there.
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Breathing down her neck.
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There was my same old problem.
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Not brave, no guts.
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What a jerk.
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And I felt like I was six years old.
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Actually, six was a great age.
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It was easy making friends then.
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That's when I met my best buddies, Scott and Roy.
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And women were no problem.
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All we cared about was a puppet made out of wood.
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MAN: Hey, kids!
What time is it?
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CHILDREN: It's Howdy Doody Time!
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[MARCHING MUSIC PLAYING]
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NED: Back then, 16 million kids watchedHowdy Doody faithfully.
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So when Buffalo Bob announced a look-alike contest,
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every kid in town signed up.
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The winner and a guest got an all-expense-paid trip to Doodyville.
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But no one actually knew where Doodyville was.
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But it had to be more exciting than Indian Springs, Nevada.
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There was a real run on flame-red hair dye that week.
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Stop fidgeting.
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Looks like a car accident.
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NED: That's where I met Roy Darpinian.
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He was one of a kind.
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He was really tearing the place up, as usual.
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-[GROWLING]
-He didn't care about winning.
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All he cared about was being noticed.
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And he was.
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Smile. Say Howdy Doody.
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[BURPS] Howdy Doody.
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NED: Scott Foreman should have won.
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Even without the makeup, the guy looked just like Howdy Doody.
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We nicknamed him, The Dood.
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-[CHILDREN CHATTING]
-He even had a wooden leg.
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He'd show it to us any time we asked.
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Until Roy told him to charge a buck.
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-I didn't win, either.
-MAN: Smile and say Howdy Doody!
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NED: But from that day on, the three of us were inseparable.
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-Howdy Doody.
-NED: It was perfect.
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Roy didn't have a mother, I didn't have a father,
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and Dood didn't have a leg.
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None of us were going to Doodyville,
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but we stayed devoted to Howdy.
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-Until we turned 12.
-[SHUTTER CLICKS]
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Howdy didn't seem quite so interesting once we discovered her.
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A new hero with less freckles and more flesh.
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Dood. Roy. I've been looking all around for you.
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[CLEARS THROAT]
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Come on.
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[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
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SCOTT: Oh, holy cow!
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ROY: Where did you get this, Bleuer?
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NED: I found it in my dad's drawer.
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-SCOTT: Oh.
-Look at those bosoms.
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So round. So...
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SCOTT: Round.
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NED: A miracle of shape.
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That's guaranteed shit-sure boner.
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-[THUNDER RUMBLING]
-[LAUGHING]
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-NED: Come on, you guys.
-ROY: Okay, read back what we got.
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-SCOTT:
Dear Miss Monroe...
-No, say, Dear Marilyn.
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It's more personable.
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How about, Dear Miss Atomic Blonde?
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No, I think I'll stick with Miss Monroe.
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We've seen all your movies.
We're your biggest fans.
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That's it.
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ROY: Okay, how about this?
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We're your biggest fans.
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You don't have any bigger fans in the whole world.
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We love you.
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And we especially love your big, pointy tits.
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-They're like missiles.
-No. Uh-uh.
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Roy. We can't say that to her.
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Ladies love to hear that stuff, because they got 'em.
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And they don't think about 'em as much as we do.
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We have to let 'em know.
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I'm not signing my name to anything about that.
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Yeah, what are you?
A man or a mouse?
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-[IN UNISON] I'm a man.
-Jinx.
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NED:
When you got jinxed, you couldn't talk 'til whoever jinxed you, unjinxed you.
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Scott never broke the rules.
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And if Roy was really pissed, Scott could go for days without speaking.
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We can't say she has bosoms like a missile base.
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Well, what do you think's gonna grab her?
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I don't know. I think we should sound like we have brains.
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If anything, tell her we think she's...
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-A handsome woman.
-Handsome? Why don't you just tell her she's a man?
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NED: Dood, your leg.
You're castrating me. Oh.
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NED:
It took us a while, but we finally finished.
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Fell asleep and dreamed about her...
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Marilyn Monroe.
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Two weeks later, she sent us an autographed picture.
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She loved us back.
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We took turns sleeping with that picture.
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Sure, we got a few paper cuts, but she was worth it.
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Even Roy, who had a lot of real-life girlfriends, still stayed true to Marilyn.
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ROY: Monroe was working on her latest movie,
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Something's Got to Give,
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and two weeks later, something did.
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Marilyn was fired.
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What we'll all miss on the screen is the skinny-dip scene you see on these pages.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
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Hey.
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Prepare yourselves, gentlemen.
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-Oh.
-Oh, yeah.
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-Beautiful.
-Look at those eyes.
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Read these lips.
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I want you to canoe me.
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Canoe me, Roy.
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Canoe me, now.
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Darpinian, that ciggie's making a beeline for your brain.
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I told you not to do that.
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Wow.
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I wonder if the doctor would let me take them.
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How long does it take to get a shot of penicillin
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-around this place,
anyway, huh?
-[RINGS BELL]
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I mean, either I got the clap or I don't, right?
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-[CHUCKLES]
-NED: Then one day, Roy dropped it on us.
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He'd enlisted in the Army for a very typical Roy reason.
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We're all going to hell, anyway.
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I might as well go out fighting.
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Positive, Roy. You've got a great sense of humor there.
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NED:
Roy had to leave for boot camp in a week.
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I didn't know what to think.
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And the Dood couldn't think because he was in love.
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ROY: Aw.
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NED: Scott had known Becky forever,
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but lately he had that goofy look when she was around.
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They were gonna get married.
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The Dood, married.
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I mean, the guy was still eating animal crackers.
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[HORNS HONKING]
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Hey, hey, hey.
Watch it, kid.
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Roy.
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What?
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Don't be a jerk.
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-[CHUCKLES]
-[RAY CHARLES' WHAT'D I SAYPLAYING]
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-So, we'll go to the Chief tonight, huh?
-Okay.
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-All right.
-I'll see you, Roy.
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I'll call you later.
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NED:
Could Roy really have joined the Army?
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Was he really that impulsive?
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♪ Yeah, mama don't you treat me wrong
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♪ Come and love your daddy all night long
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♪ All right now...
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NED: I guess that day was my first signal
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that life as I knew it wasn't gonna be the same.
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The inseparables were separating.
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♪ See the girl with the diamond ring... ♪
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NED: On the surface, things seemed the same.
222
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Dood still had his job at the Chief,
223
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even though once he mixed up the reels during The Ten Commandments,
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and had Moses lead the Israelites back into slavery.
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It was great for us, though.
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Free movies.
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And Roy.
For the last two years
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he worked as a bagman for a mob bookie out of Las Vegas.
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Antonio and Arturo, the Gallo brothers.
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They came with the job.
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They made sure when Roy talked, people listened.
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Roy hadn't turned in his resignation yet.
233
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Who could blame him?
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The Gallo brothers could be scary.
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But there was something kind of likeable
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about the way Antonio brought the world to his brother
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through sign language.
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Son of a bitch. Roy.
239
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Two straws for Arturo.
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No. What?
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Outstanding.
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Roy.
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Our compliments to the chef.
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♪ All right ♪
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[HORN HONKS]
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Hey, watch where you're going, pal.
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NED: And I was back working at the toy store.
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The same one my father ran before he got killed in Korea.
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Everything was changing, but me.
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Everyone was going on, doing brave things.
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What was I doing?
252
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Working at a toy store.
253
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I didn't know what I wanted to do.
254
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I guess I just figured we'd all wind up in college.
255
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Now I wasn't sure I even wanted to go.
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I needed help.
257
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,638
And there she was.
258
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,874
I had collected all the interviews, articles
259
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,676
and pictures I could find.
260
00:11:50,742 --> 00:11:52,944
The one constant, Marilyn.
261
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,912
MARILYN: Talk about sad.
262
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,849
You mean you can't fall in love?
263
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,283
MAN: Not anymore.
264
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,886
MARILYN: Have you ever tried American girls?
265
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:04,189
You poor, poor boy.
How can you think about...
266
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:05,891
-SCOTT: Oh.
-ROY: Look at those.
267
00:12:05,957 --> 00:12:07,626
-...food at a time like this?
-ROY: Becky got a set like those?
268
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:08,961
-What else is there for me?
-SCOTT: Shut up.
269
00:12:09,027 --> 00:12:10,462
Is it that hopeless?
270
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,898
TONY CURTIS: If I wasn't such a coward, I'd kill myself.
271
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:16,435
I may not be one of those French upstairs girls, but...
272
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:17,803
Could I take another a crack at it?
273
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,105
If you insist.
274
00:12:42,127 --> 00:12:43,261
Anything this time?
275
00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:44,730
I'm afraid not.
276
00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:48,800
I'm telling you.
She's ripe for the picking.
277
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:51,737
She ain't married to that Miller guy anymore.
She just got canned.
278
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:52,972
She's probably up for some action.
279
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,273
Roy, she's a very private person.
280
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:57,710
That's firsthand. You won't get in to see her.
281
00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,978
And if you do happen to get in, she won't go out with you
282
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:03,615
because you have no brains and you fart.
283
00:13:03,681 --> 00:13:05,885
It can't be that tough.
I'll just go up to her door,
284
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,087
ring the bell, and when she opens up, I'll say,
285
00:13:08,153 --> 00:13:09,688
Put out or get out.
286
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:12,257
-That'll grab her.
-Grab who?
287
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:16,127
It's Roy's opinion that Marilyn would go out on a date with him.
288
00:13:16,194 --> 00:13:18,329
[LAUGHS] You wish.
289
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:22,067
Guys, it's two days tops.
We can hang out at my Uncle Harvey's.
290
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:23,802
Uh...
291
00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:25,537
I... I can't go with you.
292
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:27,906
I... I wouldn't know how to tell Becky where I was going.
293
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,274
Or why.
294
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,376
So snow her, Dood.
295
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:32,944
You tell her you ain't never gonna see me again.
296
00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:35,613
You wanna spend the last couple of minutes goofing around.
297
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:37,116
You got the face to sell her.
298
00:13:37,182 --> 00:13:39,184
I can't lie to her like that.
She'd never forgive me.
299
00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:40,485
What are you, a man or a mouse?
300
00:13:40,552 --> 00:13:42,487
-I'm engaged.
-Wrong. You're a candy-ass.
301
00:13:42,554 --> 00:13:43,855
Bleuer...
302
00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:45,824
What about you?
303
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:47,459
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know if I could get the time off from work.
304
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:49,627
-Then quit.
-Roy, quitting requires
305
00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:51,596
an extreme knowledge of not working.
306
00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:53,732
I don't have your talent for free time.
307
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,134
Guys, I'm talking about meeting her.
308
00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:57,402
Her.
309
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:59,671
The girl you've been dreaming and creaming about.
310
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,540
And what about money?
Who's gonna pay for all this?
311
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,843
Neither of you has ever eighty-sixed this stinking little town.
312
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,944
I'm the only guy you know who can bring this off,
313
00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:09,714
and you're gonna bounce the cement if I do and you don't.
314
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:14,819
Come on, guys. It's two or three days, tops.
315
00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:22,660
MAN: Step. Step. Step.
Helmet in.
316
00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:25,464
Harder. Harder.
Elbows in.
317
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,701
Jab. Jab. Come on. Duck.
318
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,004
Block. Block. Block.
319
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:34,940
You wanna kill me?
Don't give in to temptation.
[GRUNTS]
320
00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:38,676
Son, if you're not gonna defend yourself,
321
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,479
don't step into my ring again.
322
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,320
[SPITS]
323
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:50,522
Feel better?
324
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:51,856
Kid's got guts.
325
00:14:51,923 --> 00:14:54,026
Yeah, everybody's got guts.
326
00:14:55,593 --> 00:14:57,462
Look, uh...
327
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,230
I need the keys to the car for a couple days.
328
00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:00,900
I wanna swing by Harvey's.
329
00:15:01,599 --> 00:15:02,935
Going by Harvey's?
330
00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:05,637
Yeah. He invited me.
331
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:08,239
He invited you?
Well, when did he invite you?
332
00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:10,041
What difference does it make?
He invited me.
333
00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:11,910
Do I get the keys or not?
334
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:14,978
No, you don't get
the keys.
335
00:15:15,046 --> 00:15:18,717
You shouldn't go anywhere this close to induction.
336
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,886
Stay around here, collect your thoughts.
It might do you some good.
337
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,221
Why don't you collect your thoughts?
I had to ask.
338
00:15:23,288 --> 00:15:27,192
Roy? Roy, don't walk away from me.
339
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,896
Roy, I'm not finished talking to you.
340
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,332
Roy!
341
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:37,303
Bleuer.
342
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,271
Bleuer, you pea brain.
343
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:43,409
Grab your paddle, we're going on a little canoe trip.
344
00:15:44,242 --> 00:15:45,276
It's Marilyn time.
345
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:48,146
-Roy, I can't.
-Come on. This is it.
346
00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:50,147
She's ripe. Let's fly.
347
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:53,218
-Is the Dood going?
-Buried the Beck
just like I told him.
348
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,653
She even opened the car door for him.
349
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,389
I'm very, very proud of that boy.
350
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,391
-Come on.
-Look, Roy. I just...
351
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,794
I can't leave the store now.
Okay? I can't leave.
352
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:03,896
Why not?
353
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:06,731
I mean, I don't have anyone to come in for me.
Mr. Beggie is sick.
354
00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:09,334
Jesus, Bleuer.
This place could close down a month,
355
00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:10,635
nobody would know the diff.
356
00:16:10,702 --> 00:16:12,303
What the hell's keeping you here?
357
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:13,806
Now is not possible.
358
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,308
Fine.
359
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,845
You're blowing this, Bleuer.
360
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,780
Royally. And you know it.
361
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:24,917
I walk out that door, that's it.
362
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,754
Fine.
363
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,689
Fine.
364
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,558
You can't rub BenGay on a heartache.
365
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,227
We'll see you when we get back.
366
00:16:56,748 --> 00:16:58,650
Roy. Roy, wait up.
367
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:00,652
Dood.
368
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:03,389
Dood.
369
00:17:07,992 --> 00:17:10,095
-[HORN HONKS]
-Hey, Bleuer.
370
00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:12,264
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
371
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,034
Oh. Hi, guys.
372
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:18,437
-You're so soft.
-[LAUGHS]
373
00:17:19,537 --> 00:17:20,839
ROY: Come on. Get in.
374
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:23,075
[TEN CITY'S GOING TO A GO GOPLAYING]
375
00:17:30,148 --> 00:17:31,382
♪ Come on
376
00:17:33,718 --> 00:17:37,388
♪ There's a brand new place I found-a
377
00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:41,293
♪ Where people come from miles around-a
378
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,262
♪ They come from everywhere
379
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:45,230
♪ And if you'll drop in there
380
00:17:45,296 --> 00:17:48,367
♪ You might see anyone in town-a ♪
381
00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:50,468
NED: I was surprised Roy's dad let him borrow
382
00:17:50,535 --> 00:17:52,771
his brand new convertible for the trip.
383
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:54,505
Well, I guess we were on a streak.
384
00:17:54,572 --> 00:17:57,175
Roy even had us a place to stay.
Right in Hollywood...
385
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,310
At his Uncle Harvey's.
386
00:17:59,377 --> 00:18:01,379
Yeah, things were really working out.
387
00:18:01,446 --> 00:18:04,183
And for once, I had a sense of direction.
388
00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:08,753
ROY: I do all the talking.
389
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,455
No, I do all the talking.
390
00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:13,291
-No, I do all the talking.
-Hey, it's my car.
I do all the talking.
391
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:14,759
If you're gonna do all the talking,
392
00:18:14,826 --> 00:18:16,695
we might as well just turn around now.
393
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:18,129
I do all the talking.
394
00:18:18,196 --> 00:18:19,563
Roy, if you do all the talking,
395
00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:22,401
we're never gonna get past Mrs. MacDonald.
396
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:23,936
Mrs. MacDonald?
Who the hell's that?
397
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:26,504
-Mrs. MacDonald?
-She's Marilyn's housekeeper.
398
00:18:26,571 --> 00:18:29,440
Then I'll do all the talking with her.
399
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:32,577
-California. We're here.
-ROY: Relax, Dood.
It's a big state.
400
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,345
Really? I gotta go to the bathroom.
401
00:18:34,412 --> 00:18:35,647
ROY: Hold it.
402
00:18:38,149 --> 00:18:40,886
SCOTT: Oh, hey, look, the Capitol Records building.
403
00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:42,654
-ROY: Where? I can't see it.
-There it is, right there.
404
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:44,956
ROY: Dood. Shut up.
405
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:47,391
NED: Are you sure your Uncle Harvey's expecting us?
406
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,560
Yeah.
407
00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:52,330
Harvey.
408
00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:54,066
-Yeah?
-Roy.
409
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,902
-Roy!
-Hey! Hey.
410
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,237
Oh.
How are you?
How are you?
411
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,339
-Good to see you.
-This is Scott and Ned.
412
00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:03,508
All the way, I was gonna bet there's a party going on at Harvey's.
413
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,577
-Look at this, huh?
-Party? This isn't a party.
414
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,779
It's 200 people talking about themselves.
415
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,448
Candi. Randi.
416
00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:12,717
I want you to meet my nephew, Roy, and his friends.
417
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,186
-Hi.
-BOTH: Hi, boys.
418
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:18,924
HARVEY: Now, girls, you've got a really big job ahead of you.
419
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,293
-Now, make sure everybody gets a lei.
-[GIRLS CHUCKLE]
420
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:24,630
Come on, boys.
Let me show you around.
421
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,799
I love those twins.
422
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,836
So, Harve? Uh, what is with the noisemaker?
423
00:19:31,903 --> 00:19:34,672
Well, I had a few feet snipped off.
424
00:19:34,739 --> 00:19:37,375
Bandages come off tomorrow.
I'm very excited.
425
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:38,976
Get out of here.
426
00:19:39,043 --> 00:19:40,378
You know, out of the whole family,
427
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,981
Harvey got stuck with the real blockbuster Armenian nose.
428
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,750
-Okay, Roy, very funny.
-You could land a plane on it.
429
00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:46,951
It's true.
430
00:19:47,018 --> 00:19:48,720
I mean, it took me a while to angle it,
431
00:19:48,786 --> 00:19:50,889
but this is the reason why I haven't hit it big yet.
432
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,290
I mean, look at this face.
433
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,491
Take a close look at this face.
434
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,260
What do you see?
Nose.
435
00:19:55,326 --> 00:19:56,662
Wall-to-wall nose.
436
00:19:57,796 --> 00:19:59,131
You're looking at my future.
437
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,033
Andrea. I see three empty hands.
438
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,367
What are we gonna do about that?
439
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:03,635
Sorry, Harve. Here you go.
440
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:07,939
So Roy? You have a date with Marilyn Monroe?
441
00:20:08,005 --> 00:20:09,307
Well, yeah. I mean, you'd take her out
442
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,541
if you could swing it, wouldn't you?
443
00:20:10,608 --> 00:20:12,010
Hell, I'd take out her laundry if I could.
444
00:20:12,076 --> 00:20:13,845
-But Marilyn Monroe?
-[CHUCKLES]
445
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,647
I'm proud of you, Roy.
Come here.
446
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,415
ROY: This is a great pad.
447
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:19,651
Go get me something here, will you, please?
Oh, thank you.
448
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,154
Hey, everybody.
This is my nephew, Roy,
449
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,688
and that's Chip and Skippy.
450
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,156
Scott. Look at this.
451
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:27,591
I want to show you something.
Come here.
452
00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,094
[GUESTS LAUGHING]
453
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,097
Look at that, boys.
454
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,331
-[GASPS]
-That's Hollywood, Skippy.
455
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,467
-It's Scott.
-HARVEY: Yeah.
456
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:39,004
God, what a perfect place for the West Coast.
457
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,441
Come on. Let's go take a look. Come here.
458
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,347
Dood. Come on.
459
00:20:49,413 --> 00:20:52,984
This is, uh, where you're gonna be able to sack out at night.
460
00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:54,552
ROY: [CHUCKLES]
What is this, a tin can?
461
00:20:54,619 --> 00:20:56,455
It's a bomb shelter, Roy.
462
00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,890
Harve, a bomb shelter?
463
00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:00,492
What's it doing in your back yard?
464
00:21:00,558 --> 00:21:02,994
HARVEY: Look, if you're gonna buy one, you gotta see what it looks like.
465
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,362
Harvey, you sell bomb shelters?
466
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,732
Roy said you were an actor.
467
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:09,300
Yes. Well, acting is my profession of choice,
468
00:21:09,367 --> 00:21:13,870
but every time I unload one of these darlings,
469
00:21:13,938 --> 00:21:15,040
I'm saving lives.
470
00:21:16,207 --> 00:21:20,178
Plus, I'm, uh, paying off the nose.
471
00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:22,813
Yeah, look, Harvey, it's like I said on the phone, two, three days, tops.
472
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:24,382
We'll romance and we'll canoe trip.
473
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:25,650
I'm on a train for Basic on Saturday.
474
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,418
Sylvia. Delphine.
Come here.
475
00:21:27,485 --> 00:21:29,553
-Come here, I want you to meet somebody.
-[PEOPLE CHEERING]
476
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:32,456
-Oh!
-[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
477
00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:36,194
Uh, Sylvia? Delphine?
This is my nephew, Roy, and his buds.
478
00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:38,997
They're gonna be staying with us, uh, a couple, three days.
479
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,733
-Ladies.
-Welcome to Hollywood, fellas.
480
00:21:41,799 --> 00:21:43,935
Hi. I'm Scott, uh, Foreman.
481
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:45,904
Thanks for talking to me.
482
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,372
-HARVEY: Gotta mingle.
Gotta mingle.
-[GIRLS GIGGLE]
483
00:21:48,439 --> 00:21:49,607
Later, Harve.
484
00:21:49,674 --> 00:21:51,810
You boys have
a good time.
485
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,645
Thanks for talking to me?
486
00:21:55,646 --> 00:21:57,182
I don't know either of you.
487
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:04,722
Ah!
488
00:22:04,789 --> 00:22:07,025
[CHUBBY CHECKER'S LIMBO STAR PLAYING]
489
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,263
-SCOTT: Are we at Marilyn's?
-NED: Yeah, pull over, Roy.
490
00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:12,597
ROY: Yeah, I know.
491
00:22:12,663 --> 00:22:14,499
NED: 12305 Helena Drive.
This is it.
492
00:22:14,565 --> 00:22:15,901
Nice house.
493
00:22:18,035 --> 00:22:20,939
Okay, pea brains.
Remember, this is my show.
494
00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:22,441
I do all the talking.
495
00:22:23,307 --> 00:22:24,942
Let's make some history.
496
00:22:25,009 --> 00:22:26,578
Dood, fix your hair.
497
00:22:27,979 --> 00:22:29,748
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
498
00:22:34,452 --> 00:22:35,586
Thanks, guys.
499
00:22:35,653 --> 00:22:37,155
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
500
00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:47,165
[KNOCKS]
501
00:22:50,335 --> 00:22:51,436
Yeah?
502
00:22:52,637 --> 00:22:54,272
Is Marilyn here?
503
00:22:54,339 --> 00:22:56,741
[SIGHS] You got the wrong house.
504
00:22:56,807 --> 00:22:59,110
Is this 12305 Helena Drive?
505
00:22:59,177 --> 00:23:01,678
That's the address.
But there's no Marilyn here.
506
00:23:01,746 --> 00:23:03,447
Look, chief.
Uh... [CHUCKLES]
507
00:23:03,514 --> 00:23:05,684
I don't know who you are, but, uh, if you just tell her
508
00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:08,152
the guys who wrote her the letter six years ago are here,
509
00:23:08,219 --> 00:23:10,021
she'll want to see us.
510
00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:11,590
You deaf?
511
00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,358
Get the hell off of my property.
512
00:23:13,424 --> 00:23:14,859
We're not leaving 'til she comes out.
513
00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:17,093
Roy. Uh, sir, please, uh,
514
00:23:17,161 --> 00:23:19,163
people are usually being asked the wrong questions,
515
00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:22,166
so usually they end up giving the wrong answers.
516
00:23:22,233 --> 00:23:24,101
Uh, let me rephrase.
517
00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:26,937
May we please see Marilyn?
518
00:23:27,004 --> 00:23:28,206
Please.
519
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,176
You wanna see Marilyn?
520
00:23:32,309 --> 00:23:33,778
I'll get her for you.
521
00:23:33,844 --> 00:23:34,980
Don't move.
522
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,215
[DOOR SLAMMING]
523
00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:43,221
Well, you see what happens when we do all the talking?
Huh?
524
00:23:44,422 --> 00:23:46,358
-Kill.
-[BARKS]
525
00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:49,193
-Kill.
-Uh-oh. Dood. Nice doggie.
526
00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:51,462
Come on, guys. Dood.
527
00:23:51,529 --> 00:23:53,231
Dood, he's gaining on you.
528
00:23:54,733 --> 00:23:56,568
[SCOTT SCREAMS]
529
00:23:58,102 --> 00:24:00,238
Okay, so I was wrong.
It wasn't Helena Drive.
530
00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:02,107
It was Fifth Helena drive.
531
00:24:02,173 --> 00:24:04,008
This time, I'm absolutely sure.
532
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:06,778
-You're absolutely sure?
-Yeah. It says right here.
533
00:24:06,844 --> 00:24:08,513
You better be right this time, Bleuer.
534
00:24:08,579 --> 00:24:09,915
I'm right. I'm right.
535
00:24:10,915 --> 00:24:12,383
Look at this.
It's beautiful.
536
00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:15,287
ROY: [CHUCKLES]
It's all right.
NED: This is gorgeous.
537
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:17,022
I hope there are no dogs here.
538
00:24:18,656 --> 00:24:19,791
[BLOWS]
539
00:24:27,131 --> 00:24:28,867
Hello, is Marilyn home?
540
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,735
May I help you?
541
00:24:30,801 --> 00:24:33,071
Yeah. We'd like to talk to her.
542
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:34,906
What is this about?
543
00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:37,074
It's private.
544
00:24:37,141 --> 00:24:39,277
Do you have an appointment with Miss Monroe?
545
00:24:39,343 --> 00:24:41,746
No, but we thought if...
546
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,081
If you just tell her Roy Darpinian,
547
00:24:43,147 --> 00:24:44,948
Ned Bleuer and The Dood are here,
548
00:24:45,016 --> 00:24:47,051
we could skip the snow job, sweetheart.
549
00:24:47,118 --> 00:24:50,021
Right. Now, get out of here before I call the cops.
550
00:24:50,454 --> 00:24:51,456
[SLAMS]
551
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:56,160
Well, let's just say it's a perfect end to a perfect day
552
00:24:56,227 --> 00:24:57,962
and get something to eat.
My stomach is talking.
553
00:24:58,029 --> 00:24:59,630
-Oh. Yeah.
-Wait a minute, guys.
554
00:24:59,697 --> 00:25:02,399
What are we, men or mice?
Huh?
555
00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:04,135
-What?
-We came here to do something,
556
00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:06,371
and no ball-busting biddy Hazel's gonna stop us.
Come on.
557
00:25:09,307 --> 00:25:11,075
I'm giving you boys fair warning.
558
00:25:11,142 --> 00:25:13,010
The police department is on its way.
559
00:25:13,077 --> 00:25:15,046
The honest-to-God truth is...
560
00:25:16,548 --> 00:25:18,282
She's my mother.
561
00:25:18,349 --> 00:25:20,018
I didn't wanna say anything at first,
562
00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:22,687
'cause I didn't think you'd buy it.
563
00:25:22,754 --> 00:25:25,423
I mean, it's...
It's weird, you know?
564
00:25:25,490 --> 00:25:30,528
When, after 18 years of tears on your pillow,
565
00:25:30,595 --> 00:25:33,164
you find out who your real mom is.
566
00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:34,633
And that your brothers...
567
00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:39,035
Are just two pea brains who sleep in the beds
next to you.
568
00:25:39,103 --> 00:25:41,072
[NED CLEARS THROAT]
569
00:25:41,138 --> 00:25:43,774
That's the truth, on the Holy Bible.
I swear it.
570
00:25:43,841 --> 00:25:45,377
[SIRENS WAILING]
571
00:25:47,244 --> 00:25:49,280
I told you so.
572
00:25:49,347 --> 00:25:52,684
We should go.
Come on, Roy.
573
00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:54,885
You know, we only wanted to be near her for a minute.
574
00:25:54,952 --> 00:25:57,788
Maybe... Maybe wish her a happy belated birthday.
That's all.
575
00:25:57,855 --> 00:25:59,824
Let's go, Ned.
The cops are coming!
576
00:26:08,566 --> 00:26:09,668
[SIREN STOPS]
577
00:26:10,067 --> 00:26:11,168
[SIGHS]
578
00:26:11,235 --> 00:26:14,138
So, uh, when will he be returning?
579
00:26:14,205 --> 00:26:17,074
Who knows? Roy doesn't keep track of time too good.
580
00:26:18,409 --> 00:26:20,077
Why, what's going on?
581
00:26:20,144 --> 00:26:22,880
Nothing, nothing.
It's just, we, uh, no.
582
00:26:22,947 --> 00:26:24,281
Well, he... We...
583
00:26:24,348 --> 00:26:26,417
We work together in the, uh, same garage,
584
00:26:26,484 --> 00:26:28,718
and happened to misplace one of the keys to the car.
585
00:26:28,786 --> 00:26:30,821
And, uh, we were hoping, you know,
586
00:26:30,888 --> 00:26:33,625
that Roy would be able to find those keys.
587
00:26:35,126 --> 00:26:36,860
Well, all he told me...
588
00:26:36,927 --> 00:26:39,862
He was gonna spend some time with my brother, Harvey, in Hollywood.
589
00:26:39,930 --> 00:26:41,799
Then he took off.
590
00:26:41,866 --> 00:26:46,805
Look, uh, if it's important, I, uh, can phone him up there.
591
00:26:46,871 --> 00:26:48,272
Oh. No, no.
592
00:26:48,339 --> 00:26:50,140
No, I mean, we can wait.
This is nothing.
593
00:26:50,208 --> 00:26:52,143
What's a few days?
Huh? Let's...
594
00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:55,847
I wouldn't wait any longer than that.
595
00:26:57,582 --> 00:26:59,451
He'll be in the Armed Forces on Saturday.
596
00:27:04,122 --> 00:27:05,189
Well, thank you.
597
00:27:05,256 --> 00:27:07,892
And, uh, sorry for the bother.
598
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:08,960
Excuse us.
599
00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:11,730
Hollywood.
600
00:27:12,563 --> 00:27:14,833
♪ Just one look... ♪
601
00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:17,668
Damn, Bleuer.
Did you read this?
602
00:27:17,735 --> 00:27:22,806
Her derriere looked like two puppies fighting under a silk sheet.
603
00:27:22,873 --> 00:27:25,543
-Choice stuff. [CHUCKLES]
-Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
604
00:27:25,610 --> 00:27:27,478
Don't anybody jump down my throat,
605
00:27:27,545 --> 00:27:28,946
but are we heading home tomorrow?
606
00:27:29,013 --> 00:27:31,616
No, we are not heading home tomorrow.
607
00:27:31,682 --> 00:27:33,751
Tomorrow's a whole new ball game.
608
00:27:33,818 --> 00:27:36,120
Why? We're never gonna get past her housekeeper.
609
00:27:36,187 --> 00:27:38,289
-Let's just call it quits.
-Dood.
610
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,592
You can't rub BenGay on a heartache.
611
00:27:41,325 --> 00:27:42,693
What does that mean?
612
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,029
It means, I don't rest until she's mine.
613
00:27:45,095 --> 00:27:46,564
That's what it means.
614
00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:49,434
ROY: Guys, we got this book.
615
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,369
We ought to be able to track her down.
616
00:27:52,470 --> 00:27:54,705
♪ A kiss on the hand
617
00:27:54,772 --> 00:27:57,541
♪ May be quite continental
618
00:27:57,608 --> 00:27:58,909
♪ But diamonds are...
619
00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:00,779
SCOTT: The Ambassador?
Is this a hotel?
620
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,115
Boys.
621
00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:05,783
ROY: I told you she wouldn't be here.
She has a house.
622
00:28:05,849 --> 00:28:08,052
Why would she be in a hotel?
Hotels have restaurants.
623
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,254
This happens to be one of Marilyn's favorites.
624
00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:14,257
♪ Or help you at the Automat...
625
00:28:14,325 --> 00:28:16,026
-Where are we going?
-Yeah. Where are we going?
626
00:28:16,093 --> 00:28:18,362
ROY: Don't worry about it.
SCOTT: I'm hungry.
627
00:28:18,429 --> 00:28:21,766
♪ And we all lose our charms in the end...
628
00:28:22,634 --> 00:28:24,202
[TIRES SCREECH]
629
00:28:24,269 --> 00:28:26,270
-What is this place?
-A restaurant.
630
00:28:26,337 --> 00:28:29,240
♪ These rocks don't lose their shape...
631
00:28:29,307 --> 00:28:31,643
-No luck, huh, Bleuer?
-Nah. Give me the book.
632
00:28:35,647 --> 00:28:36,880
♪ Tiffany's
633
00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:41,919
♪ Cartier
634
00:28:44,522 --> 00:28:47,058
♪ Black Star, Frost, Gorham
635
00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:48,359
♪ Talk to me, Harry Winston
636
00:28:48,425 --> 00:28:49,828
♪ Tell me all about it
637
00:28:54,665 --> 00:28:55,866
♪ But stiff back... ♪
638
00:28:55,933 --> 00:28:58,136
Roy! Stop the car!
It's her!
639
00:28:58,202 --> 00:29:01,305
It's her! I'd know that walk anywhere!
640
00:29:01,372 --> 00:29:02,941
-She just went in there!
-Where?
641
00:29:03,007 --> 00:29:04,942
Right there! Look.
A blind guy could see her.
642
00:29:05,009 --> 00:29:06,644
It's her! Roy, park the car!
643
00:29:06,710 --> 00:29:08,346
I'm parking it, already!
644
00:29:09,713 --> 00:29:11,949
All right, let's go.
Come on. Let's go.
645
00:29:12,016 --> 00:29:13,684
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.
646
00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:14,953
Roy, wait!
647
00:29:20,224 --> 00:29:21,292
Marilyn!
648
00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:27,398
Gracefully, guys.
649
00:29:27,464 --> 00:29:29,233
Just like we came in.
650
00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:31,235
Yeah.
651
00:29:31,301 --> 00:29:33,437
[BOBBY DARIN'S DREAM LOVERPLAYING]
652
00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:40,979
♪ Every night I hope and pray... ♪
653
00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:44,715
NED: We were convinced that Marilyn would love us once she met us.
654
00:29:44,782 --> 00:29:46,985
But we had to get her to see us first.
655
00:29:47,051 --> 00:29:48,552
So we parked in front of her house,
656
00:29:48,619 --> 00:29:51,054
determined to wait until she noticed us.
657
00:29:51,756 --> 00:29:53,224
F.
658
00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:56,828
NED: There was this great game we played to kill time.
659
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,197
F, U.
660
00:30:00,264 --> 00:30:02,065
NED: The object of the game was to use letters,
661
00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:05,069
in order, without actually spelling a word.
662
00:30:05,135 --> 00:30:07,038
F, U, C.
663
00:30:07,105 --> 00:30:09,307
NED: If you spelled a word,
664
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:11,442
you lost.
665
00:30:16,547 --> 00:30:17,715
I quit.
666
00:30:19,016 --> 00:30:20,784
-NED: Roy frequently quit.
-[SIGHS]
667
00:30:20,851 --> 00:30:24,488
His vocabulary just didn't include words like fuchsia.
668
00:30:24,555 --> 00:30:27,258
But for some reason, he always started with the letter F.
669
00:30:28,759 --> 00:30:30,394
Well...
670
00:30:30,461 --> 00:30:32,764
Since we're gonna be out here for the long haul,
671
00:30:33,931 --> 00:30:36,233
why don't we turn on some heat?
672
00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:37,835
Here's one for you.
673
00:30:37,901 --> 00:30:39,037
Take it.
674
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:43,640
One for you, and one for me.
675
00:30:46,777 --> 00:30:48,412
Reefers.
676
00:30:48,479 --> 00:30:50,548
You're giving us reefers?
677
00:30:50,614 --> 00:30:52,183
Little louder.
678
00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:53,618
Don't think they caught it at the police station.
679
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:56,687
Are these standard now in all the 62's, or...
680
00:30:56,754 --> 00:30:58,421
I borrowed 'em from Harvey.
681
00:30:58,489 --> 00:31:01,259
-Borrowed?
-We're gonna go straight to jail.
682
00:31:01,325 --> 00:31:03,528
I know it. This is jail.
683
00:31:03,594 --> 00:31:04,829
[LIGHTER CLICKING]
684
00:31:08,165 --> 00:31:11,601
ALL: ♪ Yeah, sweet calendar girl
685
00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:15,139
♪ I love, I love
I love my calendar girl
686
00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:17,674
♪ Each and every day of the year
687
00:31:17,741 --> 00:31:18,842
♪ Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da
688
00:31:18,909 --> 00:31:20,178
♪ January
689
00:31:20,244 --> 00:31:22,745
♪ You start the year off fine
690
00:31:22,813 --> 00:31:26,451
♪ February
You're my little valentine
691
00:31:26,517 --> 00:31:28,386
♪ March, I'm gonna march you
692
00:31:28,453 --> 00:31:30,254
♪ Down the aisle
693
00:31:30,321 --> 00:31:33,823
♪ April, you're the Easter Bunny when you smile
694
00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:37,561
♪ Yeah, yeah, My heart's in a whirl
695
00:31:37,628 --> 00:31:40,697
♪ I love, I love
I love my little calendar girl
696
00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:43,434
♪ Every... Every day...
Every day...
697
00:31:43,500 --> 00:31:46,037
♪ Every day of the year ♪
698
00:31:47,204 --> 00:31:49,807
NED: Gee.
ROY: Whoo.
699
00:31:49,873 --> 00:31:51,809
Did you guys ever think,
700
00:31:51,876 --> 00:31:54,712
if Mister Ed can really talk,
701
00:31:54,778 --> 00:31:58,016
how come he never complains about standing in his own piss?
702
00:32:00,684 --> 00:32:03,553
You know the only reason I was born?
703
00:32:03,621 --> 00:32:05,957
'Cause the drugstore was closed on Sunday?
704
00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:08,892
No.
705
00:32:08,959 --> 00:32:10,061
[LAUGHING]
706
00:32:10,127 --> 00:32:11,161
[SNORTS]
707
00:32:11,228 --> 00:32:13,497
I was supposed to be a girl,
708
00:32:13,564 --> 00:32:15,233
to make up for my sister.
709
00:32:16,634 --> 00:32:18,068
Oh, you don't have a sister.
710
00:32:18,135 --> 00:32:19,771
No, she died.
711
00:32:20,371 --> 00:32:21,673
She was, uh...
712
00:32:22,706 --> 00:32:24,274
I don't know, something.
713
00:32:25,810 --> 00:32:27,946
My mother wanted another girl so bad.
714
00:32:30,314 --> 00:32:32,483
God, my mother.
[CHUCKLES]
715
00:32:34,719 --> 00:32:36,087
I'll tell you, man.
716
00:32:36,153 --> 00:32:38,389
When you're on top, you're the best.
717
00:32:39,823 --> 00:32:42,259
She digs a winner.
718
00:32:42,326 --> 00:32:44,395
My old man, in his heyday, she just...
719
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:47,732
He was king.
720
00:32:52,036 --> 00:32:54,571
He used to get up for a fight by canoeing her.
721
00:32:54,638 --> 00:32:56,607
You could hear the lockers banging.
722
00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:58,476
[SNICKERS]
723
00:32:58,542 --> 00:33:00,610
And then he got busted up against Isherwood.
724
00:33:01,245 --> 00:33:03,479
After that she just...
725
00:33:03,547 --> 00:33:05,616
She don't respect him no more, yeah...
726
00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:07,118
Just like that.
727
00:33:08,953 --> 00:33:10,455
He was down.
728
00:33:10,521 --> 00:33:14,224
She wouldn't let him up.
729
00:33:14,291 --> 00:33:18,928
Sometimes I'd sleep outside their room when it was fight night.
730
00:33:18,996 --> 00:33:20,832
Go in and try to break it up.
731
00:33:21,699 --> 00:33:22,800
[SNICKERS]
732
00:33:25,569 --> 00:33:27,171
She's a singer now, you know?
733
00:33:36,380 --> 00:33:37,915
[MOANS]
734
00:33:37,981 --> 00:33:39,217
Oh, God.
735
00:33:39,850 --> 00:33:41,952
God. God.
736
00:33:42,019 --> 00:33:44,221
Becky's gonna have a cow.
737
00:33:44,288 --> 00:33:46,223
Foreman, you are such a candy-ass.
738
00:33:46,290 --> 00:33:48,859
Man. I'm double-crossing her!
739
00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:51,160
How are you double-crossing her?
740
00:33:51,228 --> 00:33:52,730
With Marilyn.
741
00:33:52,797 --> 00:33:54,265
What?
742
00:33:54,331 --> 00:33:56,466
I mean, we haven't even met Marilyn.
743
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:59,503
-I'm a rat fink. Fink.
-We met her fence.
744
00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:01,906
We met her door, her maid.
745
00:34:01,972 --> 00:34:03,507
-Fink. Fink. Fink. Fink.
-We met with rejection.
746
00:34:03,574 --> 00:34:05,243
Dood, Dood, Dood.
747
00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:08,679
The only thing you've done wrong, so far,
748
00:34:08,746 --> 00:34:11,381
is getting a boner with somebody else's name on it.
749
00:34:11,447 --> 00:34:13,083
We're just here to say hello.
750
00:34:13,951 --> 00:34:15,719
I still feel bad.
751
00:34:16,786 --> 00:34:18,589
She loves me so much.
752
00:34:19,590 --> 00:34:20,892
Why?
753
00:34:20,958 --> 00:34:23,493
-It's the phony leg.
-Oh.
754
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:27,165
Will she still love me this much when I'm old and ugly?
755
00:34:27,931 --> 00:34:30,100
You're ugly now.
756
00:34:30,167 --> 00:34:31,502
That's the beauty of it.
757
00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:33,237
[BOTH LAUGHING]
758
00:34:35,206 --> 00:34:37,007
-What if Becky finds out?
-[LAUGHS]
759
00:34:37,074 --> 00:34:38,742
-She'll think I'm a drug addict.
-[BOTH LAUGHING]
760
00:34:38,809 --> 00:34:40,445
And then... And then she'll tell my mom!
761
00:34:42,079 --> 00:34:44,348
[SLOW SONG PLAYING]
762
00:34:48,485 --> 00:34:51,455
Come on. Come on.
Let's go for a walk.
763
00:34:51,522 --> 00:34:52,956
Good boy.
764
00:34:53,023 --> 00:34:54,926
[ALL SNORING]
765
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,535
[WHISTLING]
766
00:35:11,141 --> 00:35:13,311
[HUMMING CALENDAR GIRL]
767
00:35:21,986 --> 00:35:23,386
Nice.
768
00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:24,789
Tony Curtis.
769
00:35:26,123 --> 00:35:27,658
Spartacus.
770
00:35:32,196 --> 00:35:34,765
-Ooh.
-We got you now, Roy.
771
00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:36,333
Where is the money?
772
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,903
Money? [GAGS]
I... I don't know what you're talking about.
773
00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:40,203
What?
774
00:35:40,270 --> 00:35:42,240
What do you mean, it's the wrong guy?
775
00:35:44,675 --> 00:35:46,176
-[COUGHING]
-My apologies.
776
00:35:46,243 --> 00:35:48,145
I hope that we haven't injured you.
777
00:35:48,212 --> 00:35:50,681
-Where is Roy?
-Roy?
778
00:35:50,747 --> 00:35:52,984
I... I have no idea what you're talking about.
779
00:35:54,518 --> 00:35:56,853
Where is your nephew, Roy?
780
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:57,955
-Roy!
-Roy.
781
00:35:58,022 --> 00:35:59,223
-Roy!
-Where is he?
782
00:35:59,289 --> 00:36:00,490
I... I don't know.
783
00:36:00,557 --> 00:36:01,991
Look, I wouldn't...
I wouldn't lie to you.
784
00:36:02,059 --> 00:36:05,429
Uh, and-and I especially wouldn't lie... H... He's out!
785
00:36:06,531 --> 00:36:07,598
Yeah.
786
00:36:09,466 --> 00:36:11,002
Time to go to work.
787
00:36:11,735 --> 00:36:14,972
Uh... Excuse me?
788
00:36:15,038 --> 00:36:18,342
W... Why is he...
He keep doing that?
789
00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:20,845
See, he can't hear.
790
00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:23,247
Sorry.
791
00:36:23,314 --> 00:36:25,683
He speaks to me with his hand.
792
00:36:25,749 --> 00:36:27,183
And right now,
793
00:36:27,251 --> 00:36:31,321
he's telling me which one of your bones we should break first.
794
00:36:31,388 --> 00:36:32,723
Or do you have a preference?
795
00:36:32,790 --> 00:36:34,358
Uh-uh-uh. Uh, yeah.
796
00:36:34,424 --> 00:36:36,894
N... Not, um...
Not the nose.
797
00:36:36,961 --> 00:36:40,897
Don't... Please, please, don't... Don't hurt the nose.
Okay?
798
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,941
Guys. Drop your socks and grab your jocks.
799
00:36:51,008 --> 00:36:52,408
Get a load of who's coming out.
800
00:36:52,476 --> 00:36:54,011
-Who is it? Marilyn?
-I don't know.
I can't make her out.
801
00:36:54,077 --> 00:36:55,612
But the old lady's driving.
802
00:36:55,679 --> 00:36:57,982
SCOTT: It looks like her.
NED: Yeah, it must be her.
803
00:36:58,048 --> 00:36:59,515
We should go before we lose her.
804
00:36:59,583 --> 00:37:01,552
I'm up.
Let's put some tires on the road.
805
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,355
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
806
00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:19,937
When we catch up with her,you two pea brains shut up, and I do all the talking.
807
00:37:20,004 --> 00:37:21,505
Hey, the both of you, shut up.
808
00:37:22,139 --> 00:37:23,941
[HORN HONKING]
809
00:37:24,007 --> 00:37:25,008
-You're getting a little close, Roy.
-Yeah, I got it.
810
00:37:25,075 --> 00:37:26,176
I think that's her.
Right there.
811
00:37:26,243 --> 00:37:27,578
I can see her, Dood.
Thank you.
812
00:37:27,644 --> 00:37:30,247
-What are you gonna do?
-ROY: Just give me a second.
813
00:37:30,314 --> 00:37:32,915
MACDONALD: Oh, dear. Those boys are right behind us.
814
00:37:32,983 --> 00:37:34,785
What should I do?
815
00:37:34,852 --> 00:37:36,554
MARILYN: I'm sure they're harmless.
816
00:37:36,620 --> 00:37:39,455
-Just go a little faster.
-Okay.
817
00:37:39,522 --> 00:37:42,593
[TIRES SCREECHING]
818
00:37:42,659 --> 00:37:44,395
You see this? You see this?
They're giving it the gun.
819
00:37:44,461 --> 00:37:46,263
[HORN HONKING]
820
00:37:46,330 --> 00:37:48,498
Let's go back and wait outside her house.
821
00:37:48,565 --> 00:37:50,367
BOTH: Let's just go back to Indian Springs.
822
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:51,535
Jinx.
823
00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:53,236
Shit.
824
00:37:53,303 --> 00:37:55,772
-Not long now, baby.
-Marilyn must hate us.
825
00:37:55,839 --> 00:37:57,908
She's gotta hate us.
I hate us.
826
00:37:57,974 --> 00:38:00,911
Nobody hates nobody.
It's the chase, man.
They love it.
827
00:38:00,978 --> 00:38:02,479
Brakes. Roy, use the brakes.
828
00:38:02,546 --> 00:38:04,248
Will you slow down?
829
00:38:04,315 --> 00:38:06,817
-[WHINING INAUDIBLY]
-What?
830
00:38:06,884 --> 00:38:08,919
What? Dood? Roy, Roy,
Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy.
831
00:38:08,986 --> 00:38:09,986
Unjinxed.
832
00:38:10,053 --> 00:38:11,756
We just passed her car.
833
00:38:12,989 --> 00:38:14,191
[TIRES SCREECHING]
834
00:38:15,659 --> 00:38:16,694
[SCREAMS]
835
00:38:20,897 --> 00:38:22,766
-You guys okay?
-Yeah.
836
00:38:22,833 --> 00:38:23,901
Hey.
837
00:38:27,304 --> 00:38:29,106
[SLOW ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING]
838
00:38:33,744 --> 00:38:34,945
That was her.
839
00:38:36,546 --> 00:38:38,115
It was her.
840
00:38:38,181 --> 00:38:39,350
[BOTH SIGH]
841
00:38:41,685 --> 00:38:43,386
So, we fired a couple of blanks.
842
00:38:43,453 --> 00:38:45,155
You can't rub BenGay on a heartache.
843
00:38:45,222 --> 00:38:47,290
You made an instantaneous decision to have a car accident.
844
00:38:47,357 --> 00:38:49,593
There's no editing process between your brain and mouth.
845
00:38:49,659 --> 00:38:51,395
-Yeah, I ain't like you, Bleuer.
-Bull's eye.
846
00:38:51,461 --> 00:38:52,928
You figure everything to death.
847
00:38:52,996 --> 00:38:54,498
You sit and you think.
You kill the day.
848
00:38:54,564 --> 00:38:56,533
Look at that book you carry around.
849
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,134
Sometimes you gotta floor it.
850
00:38:58,201 --> 00:38:59,836
Appropriate phraseology, given our experience.
851
00:38:59,903 --> 00:39:01,071
[REPEATS MOCKINGLY]
852
00:39:01,137 --> 00:39:02,740
Just say, Fuck you, Roy. All right?
853
00:39:02,806 --> 00:39:06,243
Fuck you will do, without any thinking at all.
854
00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:08,679
All right. Granted, I... I do size up situations.
855
00:39:08,745 --> 00:39:10,279
But not all the time.
856
00:39:10,347 --> 00:39:12,716
Yeah, Ned. You do.
All the time.
857
00:39:12,783 --> 00:39:14,785
See, I'm not just making this up.
858
00:39:14,852 --> 00:39:16,787
All right. Fine.
859
00:39:16,853 --> 00:39:18,321
We don't even know why we're here...
860
00:39:18,388 --> 00:39:20,391
Don't start that shit with me, Dood.
861
00:39:20,457 --> 00:39:22,426
-You're really getting on my nerves.
-But he's right.
862
00:39:22,493 --> 00:39:24,494
I mean, we're just becoming an irritation to her.
863
00:39:24,561 --> 00:39:26,764
I don't want her to remember me like this, Roy.
864
00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:38,575
I'll tell you how we get in her house.
865
00:39:38,642 --> 00:39:41,111
We gotta find something...
Something...
866
00:39:41,177 --> 00:39:42,780
Something that'll move her, you know?
867
00:39:42,847 --> 00:39:44,415
An ace, right to the pump.
868
00:39:46,283 --> 00:39:48,118
We gotta make her cry.
869
00:39:48,185 --> 00:39:50,855
That's it.
That's how we get in.
We make her cry.
870
00:39:51,421 --> 00:39:52,756
Any ideas?
871
00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:58,495
Well, I... I remember reading a story,
872
00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:00,531
but I don't know, it's...
It's a really big stretch.
873
00:40:00,598 --> 00:40:02,399
Hey. Anything can be a plan.
874
00:40:02,466 --> 00:40:05,035
-Let me hear it,and I'll tell you.
-Here we go.
875
00:40:05,101 --> 00:40:06,770
She has a profound empathy for animals,
876
00:40:06,837 --> 00:40:09,306
based on her own memories of being unprotected as a child.
877
00:40:09,373 --> 00:40:12,743
Once, when it was raining, she heard a calf mooing just outside her door.
878
00:40:12,809 --> 00:40:14,444
She tried to bring the calf inside,
879
00:40:14,511 --> 00:40:16,779
because she thought the farmer had forgotten
880
00:40:16,847 --> 00:40:18,716
and left it outside to get soaked.
881
00:40:18,782 --> 00:40:20,217
This is a jackpot.
882
00:40:20,283 --> 00:40:21,851
It took Jim, who was her husband at the time,
883
00:40:21,918 --> 00:40:23,653
over an hour to convince Norma Jean
884
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:26,122
that cows didn't mind standing out in the rain.
885
00:40:26,189 --> 00:40:29,526
Oh, but they do.
They hate it.
886
00:40:29,593 --> 00:40:32,395
This is it. This is 100% what we gotta do.
887
00:40:32,463 --> 00:40:34,531
His eyes are bugging out again.
888
00:40:34,597 --> 00:40:35,932
We gotta boost a cow.
889
00:40:35,999 --> 00:40:38,267
That's it.
We gotta boost a cow.
890
00:40:38,335 --> 00:40:40,771
No way, Roy. I mean, I... I reject that idea.
891
00:40:40,837 --> 00:40:42,172
We're not boosting a cow, okay?
892
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,040
We're... We're not boosting a cow.
893
00:40:44,107 --> 00:40:46,309
HARVEY: Roy? Roy?
894
00:40:46,376 --> 00:40:47,577
Hey.
895
00:40:47,644 --> 00:40:49,511
Where have you been all night?
896
00:40:49,579 --> 00:40:52,249
-ROY: What do you mean?
-Do you know a couple of dinosaurs named Gallo?
897
00:40:52,315 --> 00:40:54,851
Well, they came by last night to beat your brains out.
898
00:40:54,918 --> 00:40:57,888
But, luckily for you, I was able to fend them off with my nose.
899
00:40:57,954 --> 00:40:59,323
I don't believe this.
900
00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:01,725
Gallo? Aren't those the guys you work with?
901
00:41:01,791 --> 00:41:03,327
What are they doing here, Roy?
902
00:41:04,728 --> 00:41:06,764
Roy, what are they doing here?
903
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:11,201
I sort of, uh...
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
904
00:41:11,268 --> 00:41:13,404
I sort of palmed a grand for the trip.
905
00:41:15,105 --> 00:41:16,974
You stole their money?
906
00:41:17,041 --> 00:41:18,609
Technically, it wasn't their money.
907
00:41:18,675 --> 00:41:20,043
They seem convinced
that it is.
908
00:41:20,110 --> 00:41:22,112
To come all the way to another state?
909
00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:25,516
They told me to tell you that if you give them back their money,
910
00:41:25,582 --> 00:41:26,984
you can keep your thumbs.
911
00:41:27,717 --> 00:41:30,387
New rule. No relatives.
912
00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:33,991
NED: Roy figured the Gallos would never look for us at Marilyn's.
913
00:41:34,058 --> 00:41:36,126
Besides, we were on a mission.
914
00:41:40,096 --> 00:41:42,566
I'll tell you something.
915
00:41:42,632 --> 00:41:46,470
Women are gonna be around a lot longer than anyone expected.
916
00:41:46,536 --> 00:41:48,972
And that's a fact.
917
00:41:49,039 --> 00:41:52,309
Roy, you're like 10 pounds of shit in a five-pound bag.
918
00:41:52,376 --> 00:41:55,979
What are you two pea brains gonna do after I'm gone? Huh?
919
00:41:56,046 --> 00:41:58,115
Who's gonna keep you up on the latest advancements?
920
00:41:58,182 --> 00:42:01,151
Hey, you're not the only source on women anymore.
921
00:42:01,218 --> 00:42:03,986
I mean, that was fine when we were kids, but I'm 18 now.
922
00:42:04,054 --> 00:42:06,656
My body has been fondled by hands that are not my own.
923
00:42:06,723 --> 00:42:08,625
And I'm getting married next month.
924
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:13,130
A lot of good that's gonna do.
The blind canoeing the blind.
[LAUGHS]
925
00:42:13,196 --> 00:42:15,398
Oh, says who, Darpinian?
926
00:42:15,465 --> 00:42:17,033
You?
927
00:42:17,100 --> 00:42:18,702
Everybody knows you've been carting around
928
00:42:18,768 --> 00:42:20,437
the same rubber in your wallet for three years.
929
00:42:20,504 --> 00:42:24,208
Two virgins. That shouldn't happen to anybody.
930
00:42:24,274 --> 00:42:26,643
Yeah. Well, whatever Becky and I need to know,
931
00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:28,311
we'll get from each other.
932
00:42:28,378 --> 00:42:29,913
MAN: Okay?
WOMAN: All right.
933
00:42:29,979 --> 00:42:31,848
NED: Jesus. That's her.
SCOTT: Where?
934
00:42:31,915 --> 00:42:33,851
The black hair and the sunshades.
It's a disguise.
935
00:42:33,917 --> 00:42:36,052
-She uses it on saps like us.
-It's not her.
936
00:42:36,119 --> 00:42:37,988
NED: That's her.
ROY: Bleuer, you're cracked.
937
00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:40,957
It's not her body.
It's not her walk.
It's not her.
938
00:42:41,024 --> 00:42:42,192
NED: Here.
939
00:42:42,258 --> 00:42:44,026
She prowls the streets of New York sometimes
940
00:42:44,094 --> 00:42:45,462
in her black wig and kerchief.
941
00:42:45,529 --> 00:42:49,667
But what most often gives her away are the huge aviator sunglasses she adds to this disguise.
943
00:42:55,405 --> 00:42:57,474
[SNIFFING]
944
00:42:57,541 --> 00:42:59,042
Do you smell it?
945
00:42:59,109 --> 00:43:01,211
-Chanel No. 5.
-Let's go.
946
00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:08,785
NED: Oh, I see her.
There. She's...
She's turning right.
947
00:43:08,852 --> 00:43:10,754
Don't lose her, Roy.
948
00:43:10,821 --> 00:43:12,823
SCOTT: No accidents, Roy.
Do not ram her.
949
00:43:12,889 --> 00:43:14,758
Yeah, I got it, Dood.
I got it.
950
00:43:14,824 --> 00:43:16,392
SCOTT: Hey, look.
It's the Pacific.
951
00:43:16,459 --> 00:43:18,095
-ROY: Really? Where?
-Right there.
952
00:43:18,161 --> 00:43:21,198
-ROY: Where?
-Right... Oh, shut up,
Darpinian.
953
00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:33,210
A nude beach.
954
00:43:35,378 --> 00:43:36,813
ROY: Jackpot.
955
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,416
Naked women are more fun than anybody.
956
00:43:39,483 --> 00:43:41,718
Roy. Roy.
957
00:43:41,784 --> 00:43:44,054
Roy, I have enough trouble getting naked in front of a mirror.
958
00:43:44,121 --> 00:43:46,457
Perfect. It's wide open.
There's no place she can run.
959
00:43:46,523 --> 00:43:47,891
Except across the water.
960
00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:50,027
She's good, Bleuer, but she ain't no Jesus.
961
00:43:50,094 --> 00:43:51,962
-I can't do it, Roy.
-Dood.
962
00:43:53,263 --> 00:43:55,632
This is it.
This is it.
963
00:43:55,699 --> 00:43:57,701
Do you want to see her naked, in the flesh?
964
00:43:58,535 --> 00:44:00,569
She's right down there.
965
00:44:00,637 --> 00:44:03,773
I bet there's a million guys who'd kill to be in our feet right now.
966
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,344
Okay, okay. But, why do we have to get naked?
967
00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:09,212
-Why can't we go down there like this?
-Yeah?
968
00:44:09,279 --> 00:44:13,016
Look. If you two mice wanna stay up here and play pocket pool,
969
00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:14,985
I'll go down there myself.
970
00:44:15,052 --> 00:44:16,720
It don't matter to me.
971
00:44:35,872 --> 00:44:37,074
Ladies.
972
00:44:42,412 --> 00:44:45,381
Oh, my God. Ned, I can't go down there.
973
00:44:45,448 --> 00:44:47,651
What about my leg?
People are gonna laugh.
974
00:44:51,955 --> 00:44:54,024
-Here, Foreman.
-Oh, thank you.
975
00:44:54,090 --> 00:44:57,594
Oh, Bleuer. A little
light reading, huh? Good.
976
00:44:57,661 --> 00:44:59,763
All right, guys.
Let's go.
977
00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:06,236
Oh. God, I love this place.
978
00:45:08,905 --> 00:45:11,975
What do you say we wait till she comes out of the water, huh?
979
00:45:12,041 --> 00:45:13,444
I'll be selling her the idea,
980
00:45:13,510 --> 00:45:16,747
and a big wave will come and wash me out to sea.
981
00:45:16,814 --> 00:45:18,915
NED: Look. It's Marilyn.
In the black wig.
982
00:45:18,982 --> 00:45:21,118
I need to lay down for a minute.
983
00:45:21,184 --> 00:45:23,153
I just have to lay down.
984
00:45:27,190 --> 00:45:29,293
Do you know how you're going to ask her?
985
00:45:30,460 --> 00:45:32,963
Yeah, I figure I'll say something with my eyes.
986
00:45:33,030 --> 00:45:35,032
I got this thing worked up with my eyes.
987
00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:39,302
One look, she's Velveeta.
988
00:45:39,369 --> 00:45:41,705
In other words, we've...
We've come all this way,
989
00:45:41,772 --> 00:45:44,741
and you haven't devoted one iota of your brain to this, have you?
990
00:45:44,808 --> 00:45:46,076
ROY: Guys, let's go.
991
00:45:47,911 --> 00:45:50,480
Now, remember, guys, I do all the talking. You got it?
992
00:45:50,547 --> 00:45:52,516
NED: All right. All right.
Make it good, Roy.
993
00:45:56,086 --> 00:45:57,221
Hi.
994
00:46:03,627 --> 00:46:04,861
[CLEARS THROAT]
995
00:46:04,928 --> 00:46:07,163
Now, my, uh, faithful companions here say
996
00:46:07,230 --> 00:46:09,332
they're gonna murder me for saying this to you,
997
00:46:09,399 --> 00:46:13,737
but I think you're a woman who can understand when I say,
998
00:46:13,803 --> 00:46:15,806
I just wanna lay on top of you
999
00:46:15,873 --> 00:46:17,975
and see where it goes from there.
1000
00:46:19,709 --> 00:46:21,011
You're dreamin', bud.
1001
00:46:22,145 --> 00:46:23,480
Who the hell are you?
1002
00:46:23,546 --> 00:46:24,881
Who the hell are you?
1003
00:46:25,582 --> 00:46:26,683
Roy.
1004
00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:30,687
Oh, shit.
1005
00:46:30,754 --> 00:46:31,989
SCOTT: What?
1006
00:46:33,456 --> 00:46:35,692
This beach just got very small.
1007
00:46:37,293 --> 00:46:38,962
-WOMAN: Oh.
-MAN: Hey.
1008
00:46:39,029 --> 00:46:41,398
MAN: It's a nude beach.
What's the matter with you?
1009
00:46:41,464 --> 00:46:43,700
-In the water. Come on.
-Water?
1010
00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,634
I can't swim.
1011
00:46:45,702 --> 00:46:47,404
-That's the whole angle.
Neither can they.
-I can't swim.
1012
00:46:47,470 --> 00:46:49,506
If you guys ever thought about following me before, now's the time.
1013
00:46:49,573 --> 00:46:52,040
I ain't kidding.
Come on. Let's go.
1014
00:46:52,108 --> 00:46:53,644
What about my bible?
1015
00:46:55,845 --> 00:46:57,314
I can't swim!
1016
00:46:59,049 --> 00:47:00,551
WOMAN: Squares.
1017
00:47:05,588 --> 00:47:08,191
Hey, hey, hey.
Careful, it's wet.
1018
00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:10,560
ANTONIO: Hey, Roy.
No more running.
1019
00:47:10,626 --> 00:47:11,928
We got you.
1020
00:47:11,994 --> 00:47:14,531
You're stuck, pal.
1021
00:47:14,598 --> 00:47:16,767
ROY: Hey, I didn't know you guys were in town.
1022
00:47:16,833 --> 00:47:19,303
Might as well come in, guys.
The water's nice.
1023
00:47:22,672 --> 00:47:23,706
NED: Guys, is that her?
1024
00:47:23,773 --> 00:47:25,208
Hey. Oh, my God.
1025
00:47:25,275 --> 00:47:26,876
-Look. There she is.
-Man, what is this?
1026
00:47:26,943 --> 00:47:28,745
Are we cursed, or what?
1027
00:47:28,812 --> 00:47:32,716
Hey, Roy.
We're not leaving this beach.
1028
00:47:32,783 --> 00:47:35,485
I hate you, Roy.
I hate you.
1029
00:47:35,551 --> 00:47:37,819
First, you get me naked, then you get drowned.
1030
00:47:37,887 --> 00:47:39,322
This isn't fun anymore.
1031
00:47:39,389 --> 00:47:41,558
So, how long would you estimate we're gonna be
out here for?
1032
00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:44,427
Well, there are two things that'll slow the Gallo brothers down.
1033
00:47:44,494 --> 00:47:46,997
Either they die, or they get hungry.
1034
00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:49,633
Which is more likely to happen in our lifetimes?
1035
00:47:54,871 --> 00:47:56,006
ROY: F.
1036
00:47:58,008 --> 00:47:59,308
NED: F-U.
1037
00:48:00,410 --> 00:48:01,645
SCOTT: F-U-C.
1038
00:48:03,279 --> 00:48:04,581
I quit.
1039
00:48:08,785 --> 00:48:12,556
You wanna eat? Now?
What about Roy?
1040
00:48:15,057 --> 00:48:17,194
That's true, we do know where he's staying.
1041
00:48:20,296 --> 00:48:21,464
Let's eat.
1042
00:48:25,401 --> 00:48:27,971
ROY: It's been two and a half hours.
Let's get out of here already.
1043
00:48:28,038 --> 00:48:30,239
SCOTT: Are you sure it's safe?
ROY: Yeah, it's safe, Dood.
1044
00:48:30,306 --> 00:48:32,742
Well... Well, they could be hiding behind a rock waiting to ambush us.
1045
00:48:32,809 --> 00:48:34,611
Dood, just shut up and let's go.
1046
00:48:35,812 --> 00:48:38,047
I can't believe it.
God damn it.
1047
00:48:38,114 --> 00:48:39,282
Six... Six years.
1048
00:48:39,349 --> 00:48:42,085
Six years it took me
to put this together.
1049
00:48:42,151 --> 00:48:43,919
It has all the Life articles ever written about her.
1050
00:48:43,987 --> 00:48:45,688
They're all completely soaked.
1051
00:48:45,755 --> 00:48:48,525
These pictures, I... I haven't seen them anywhere else...
1052
00:48:48,592 --> 00:48:51,595
Bleuer. Will you clam up about your stinking bible already?
1053
00:48:51,662 --> 00:48:54,497
Right there. We were this close. This close.
1054
00:48:54,564 --> 00:48:57,033
I'll tell you, first thing we gotta do... We gotta boost a cow.
1055
00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:59,803
Oh, forget the cow, Roy.
Can we forget the damn cow?
1056
00:48:59,870 --> 00:49:01,904
Just for... I wanna go home.
1057
00:49:01,972 --> 00:49:03,272
Becky's gotta be going nuts.
1058
00:49:03,339 --> 00:49:04,908
Dood. I ain't gonna say this again.
1059
00:49:04,975 --> 00:49:06,977
We go home when I say we go home. Got it?
1060
00:49:07,043 --> 00:49:09,212
Fine. Then I'll just take the car when you're asleep.
1061
00:49:09,279 --> 00:49:11,514
-Yeah, and who's gonna drive it?
-I am.
1062
00:49:11,581 --> 00:49:14,183
Really? Who's gonna pump the gas pedal?
1063
00:49:14,250 --> 00:49:15,485
Well, who do you think?
1064
00:49:17,019 --> 00:49:18,354
With what, Dood? Huh?
1065
00:49:18,421 --> 00:49:19,489
With what?
1066
00:49:19,555 --> 00:49:21,325
You got born with the wrong leg.
1067
00:49:23,492 --> 00:49:25,762
We are going home.
1068
00:49:25,828 --> 00:49:28,096
Son of a bitch. He stuck his gum in my armpit.
1069
00:49:28,164 --> 00:49:29,499
We're going home.
1070
00:49:29,565 --> 00:49:31,835
[CHUCKLES]
Foreman, your ass is grass.
1071
00:49:31,901 --> 00:49:33,536
I have a life ahead of me Darpinian.
1072
00:49:33,603 --> 00:49:35,671
-And I wanna be there for it.
-So, you can't rub
1073
00:49:35,738 --> 00:49:37,874
-BOTH: BenGay on a heartache.
-Jinx!
1074
00:49:39,342 --> 00:49:41,778
You better figure out a way to get this Bazooka outta my pit.
1075
00:49:41,845 --> 00:49:43,547
-I said jinx, you have to be quiet...
-Forget jinx.
1076
00:49:43,613 --> 00:49:44,913
I caught you. I caught you.
1077
00:49:44,981 --> 00:49:46,949
So, what're you gonna do? Huh?
1078
00:49:47,016 --> 00:49:48,218
You gonna make me shut up?
1079
00:49:48,285 --> 00:49:50,653
Is that what you're gonna do? Huh? Come on.
1080
00:49:50,720 --> 00:49:52,589
-Jinx. Jinx.
-Why don't...
1081
00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:54,891
Don't butt in, Bleuer.
This is between him and me.
1082
00:49:54,958 --> 00:49:57,126
Come on. Get angry.
Make a fist.
1083
00:49:57,193 --> 00:49:59,095
-Put my lights out.
Let's go.
-Roy.
1084
00:49:59,162 --> 00:50:00,796
-Roy, stop.
-Roy, I really don't...
1085
00:50:00,863 --> 00:50:02,631
Come on. How can you stomach this?
1086
00:50:02,699 --> 00:50:03,833
Punch me. Punch me.
1087
00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:05,635
Hit me so hard, I'll never forget it.
1088
00:50:07,036 --> 00:50:08,939
Does Becky know what a gimp mouse she's getting?
1089
00:50:09,005 --> 00:50:10,374
Get off me!
1090
00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:14,211
-[GRUNTING]
-You hit like a chick.
1091
00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:17,447
-Guys, stop it.
-[GRUNTING]
1092
00:50:18,581 --> 00:50:19,950
Dood, cut it out.
1093
00:50:26,155 --> 00:50:27,324
[COUGHS]
1094
00:50:29,459 --> 00:50:31,828
Roy. I'm sorry.
1095
00:50:32,362 --> 00:50:34,297
[PANTS]
1096
00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,632
Ah, I had it coming.
1097
00:50:36,699 --> 00:50:37,868
[CHUCKLES]
1098
00:50:38,635 --> 00:50:40,170
You got me pretty good.
1099
00:50:42,271 --> 00:50:43,774
That's the way it goes.
1100
00:51:06,128 --> 00:51:08,364
-NED: Nobody said anything about the fight.
-[COUGHING]
1101
00:51:08,431 --> 00:51:10,466
And the next morning, we were too busy preparing
1102
00:51:10,533 --> 00:51:12,102
for the Gallo brothers to care.
1103
00:51:12,168 --> 00:51:14,771
Hot plate, guys. Hot plate.
1104
00:51:14,838 --> 00:51:17,207
I don't see how laying out food's gonna solve anything.
1105
00:51:17,273 --> 00:51:20,143
Trust me, Bleuer.
I never finish anything I don't start.
1106
00:51:21,244 --> 00:51:22,512
What does that mean?
1107
00:51:22,578 --> 00:51:25,248
-What time is it?
-It's, uh, 02:09.
1108
00:51:25,315 --> 00:51:29,085
The Gallos, they're always on time when someone's getting pulverized.
1109
00:51:29,152 --> 00:51:30,954
Is somebody here getting pulverized today?
1110
00:51:31,021 --> 00:51:33,856
You can use initials if whole names give away too much.
1111
00:51:33,923 --> 00:51:36,191
It's better if I don't say nothing.
1112
00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:38,361
You're gonna give 'em their money back?
1113
00:51:38,427 --> 00:51:40,396
-Right, Roy?
-There's no point to that.
1114
00:51:40,463 --> 00:51:43,166
They want it all.
What do you think we've been spending?
1115
00:51:43,233 --> 00:51:44,501
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1116
00:51:44,567 --> 00:51:45,936
On the dot.
1117
00:51:46,002 --> 00:51:47,370
Oh, one thing.
With the Gallos,
1118
00:51:47,437 --> 00:51:49,172
any gunplay, just duck and cover.
1119
00:51:51,141 --> 00:51:52,242
What?
1120
00:51:56,012 --> 00:51:58,581
Arturo. Antonio.
Thanks for using the door.
1121
00:51:58,648 --> 00:52:00,617
Come in. Come in.
Don't be shy.
1122
00:52:02,285 --> 00:52:03,719
What a surprise.
1123
00:52:03,786 --> 00:52:05,188
Hey, guys.
Look who it is.
1124
00:52:06,355 --> 00:52:07,590
Hi. How... How are you?
1125
00:52:07,657 --> 00:52:10,193
Roy? You're a hard man to track down.
1126
00:52:10,259 --> 00:52:12,195
Not really. You guys are just easy to shake.
1127
00:52:14,197 --> 00:52:16,065
Hungry?
1128
00:52:16,132 --> 00:52:20,403
Roy, that was a very awful thing you did, taking that money from us.
1129
00:52:20,470 --> 00:52:23,205
I know. And I feel terrible.
1130
00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:25,708
And I hate putting you guys on the line like this,
1131
00:52:25,775 --> 00:52:28,144
but I'm tapped. No alibi.
1132
00:52:28,211 --> 00:52:31,881
So, how about you just eat up and wax me? Okay?
1133
00:52:31,947 --> 00:52:34,184
Arturo, bad news.
He doesn't have the money.
1134
00:52:34,251 --> 00:52:36,352
That's his plan?
andquot;Eat up and wax me?
1135
00:52:36,419 --> 00:52:38,254
Hey. Roy.
1136
00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:42,058
I want you to understand that we don't want to harm you.
1137
00:52:42,125 --> 00:52:43,860
Yeah, you've been kind to us.
1138
00:52:43,927 --> 00:52:45,128
That's sweet. Yeah.
1139
00:52:45,195 --> 00:52:47,964
But we must do what we are told.
1140
00:52:48,031 --> 00:52:49,365
Hey, I ain't complaining.
1141
00:52:49,432 --> 00:52:52,634
You guys wanna bust me up?
Go for it.
1142
00:52:52,702 --> 00:52:55,338
Arturo says we're gonna have to break all your fingers
1143
00:52:55,405 --> 00:52:57,740
-and, maybe...
What do you think? A leg?
-[GASPING]
1144
00:52:57,807 --> 00:52:59,408
Maybe a leg?
1145
00:52:59,476 --> 00:53:02,011
Yeah? But we're gonna try to break them in places
1146
00:53:02,078 --> 00:53:04,080
where it would be easier to mend.
1147
00:53:04,147 --> 00:53:06,683
That's fair.
1148
00:53:06,749 --> 00:53:09,452
Roy. You're not gonna let them do this to you.
1149
00:53:09,519 --> 00:53:11,221
These guys break bones for a living.
1150
00:53:11,288 --> 00:53:12,621
It's what they do, their job.
1151
00:53:12,688 --> 00:53:15,057
I'm part of their job.
It'll get better.
1152
00:53:15,124 --> 00:53:16,926
Run, Roy.
It's a better plan.
1153
00:53:16,993 --> 00:53:18,395
OFFICER: Police. Open up!
1154
00:53:20,463 --> 00:53:22,565
Everybody up against the wall and spread 'em.
1155
00:53:22,632 --> 00:53:24,667
-What'd we do?
-This isn't happening.
1156
00:53:24,734 --> 00:53:28,004
Roy Darpinian, Scott Foreman and Ned Bleuer, we have a warrant for your arrest.
1157
00:53:28,070 --> 00:53:32,909
For trespassing and compound aggravation of a Miss M. Monroe.
1158
00:53:32,975 --> 00:53:35,944
-No. That's not possible.
-She wouldn't do that to us.
1159
00:53:36,012 --> 00:53:38,380
OFFICER: The complaint was filed this morning.
1160
00:53:38,447 --> 00:53:41,016
-They're clean.
-Cuff 'em.
1161
00:53:41,083 --> 00:53:42,519
-What are you two doing here?
-Nothing.
1162
00:53:42,585 --> 00:53:44,854
We're just, uh, visiting our good friend, Roy.
1163
00:53:44,921 --> 00:53:47,524
-Beat it.
-Roy. Roy!
1164
00:53:47,591 --> 00:53:49,792
-Hold it right there.
-Whoa!
1165
00:53:49,859 --> 00:53:51,761
-What's going on?
-Who are you?
1166
00:53:51,828 --> 00:53:55,297
Harvey Dar... Darpinian.
I... I live here.
1167
00:53:55,364 --> 00:53:56,733
-Can you prove it?
-I can prove it.
1168
00:53:56,799 --> 00:53:59,168
My initials are on the doormat.
1169
00:53:59,235 --> 00:54:00,704
These men are under arrest.
1170
00:54:00,770 --> 00:54:02,638
You two again.
1171
00:54:02,705 --> 00:54:05,308
Well, well, well.
Why am I not surprised?
1172
00:54:05,375 --> 00:54:07,643
No, no. Not these men.
These men.
1173
00:54:07,710 --> 00:54:10,379
These men? No, officer.
You've made a mistake.
1174
00:54:10,446 --> 00:54:14,417
I filed a complaint against these men yesterday for breaking and entering.
1175
00:54:14,483 --> 00:54:16,152
For breaking my nose last night.
1176
00:54:16,219 --> 00:54:19,588
-I want you to arrest them right now.
-Officer. Officer.
1177
00:54:19,655 --> 00:54:22,192
We would... We would be very happy to leave,
1178
00:54:22,258 --> 00:54:25,428
if first we could just shake hands goodbye with Roy.
1179
00:54:25,495 --> 00:54:27,697
-Officer, these...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1180
00:54:27,764 --> 00:54:30,033
Hold it. That's it.
1181
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,202
Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt. All right?
1182
00:54:32,268 --> 00:54:33,737
-Put the gun down.
-HARVEY: Roy, listen to him.
1183
00:54:33,803 --> 00:54:35,404
-Everybody, back.
-Roy.
1184
00:54:35,471 --> 00:54:36,972
Stop or I'll shoot.
1185
00:54:37,039 --> 00:54:39,141
Anybody wants to talk to me, you talk to Uncle Sam.
1186
00:54:39,208 --> 00:54:40,844
-Freeze!
-No, Roy!
1187
00:54:41,977 --> 00:54:43,245
[ROY GASPS]
1188
00:54:45,782 --> 00:54:46,850
Now, Ken.
1189
00:54:46,916 --> 00:54:49,119
It just went off by itself.
I swear I didn't...
1190
00:54:49,985 --> 00:54:51,587
Oh, my God.
1191
00:54:51,654 --> 00:54:53,389
Roy? Roy?
1192
00:54:53,456 --> 00:54:55,358
Get away, you animals!
1193
00:54:55,424 --> 00:54:57,960
-SCOTT: Is he breathing?
-Oh. You better get an ambulance.
1194
00:54:58,027 --> 00:55:00,130
-Is he alive?
-OFFICER: Ken, move!
1195
00:55:00,863 --> 00:55:02,365
It's too late.
1196
00:55:02,432 --> 00:55:03,899
Oh, my God. He's dead.
1197
00:55:03,967 --> 00:55:06,769
Please, pay our respects to his father.
1198
00:55:06,836 --> 00:55:08,805
OFFICER: I never meant for that to happen.
1199
00:55:08,872 --> 00:55:12,040
HARVEY: Roy. Oh, no, Roy.
1200
00:55:12,107 --> 00:55:14,911
Roy. G... Oh, G...
1201
00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:16,146
[SOBBING]
1202
00:55:16,212 --> 00:55:19,516
Roy, you didn't have to, Roy.
1203
00:55:19,582 --> 00:55:21,683
You didn't have to, Roy.
1204
00:55:21,751 --> 00:55:24,754
-You didn't have to. You...
-[GAGS]
1205
00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:28,625
Dood. You're castrating me.
Mwah.
1206
00:55:29,893 --> 00:55:31,961
-You're alive!
-Yep.
1207
00:55:32,028 --> 00:55:33,629
Not bad for a dead guy, huh?
1208
00:55:33,696 --> 00:55:34,930
Damn you, Darpinian.
1209
00:55:34,997 --> 00:55:36,165
Well, why didn't you tell us?
1210
00:55:36,232 --> 00:55:37,833
They had to buy it all,
everything.
1211
00:55:37,900 --> 00:55:39,636
You got the face, Dood.
1212
00:55:39,702 --> 00:55:41,237
These really aren't police?
1213
00:55:41,304 --> 00:55:43,473
No, no, no. But they're convincing, aren't they?
1214
00:55:43,539 --> 00:55:46,275
I want you to meet Steve and Ernie, fellow thespians.
1215
00:55:46,342 --> 00:55:49,512
And, then, fellas? Don't break into spontaneous applause.
1216
00:55:49,579 --> 00:55:51,447
Uh, Steve? Can I see you for a minute?
1217
00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:54,249
Now, what is this, uh... This line that you used on me,
1218
00:55:54,316 --> 00:55:55,384
Can I prove it?
1219
00:55:55,451 --> 00:55:56,452
Well, I was improvising.
1220
00:55:56,519 --> 00:55:58,221
We rehearsed for a half hour...
1221
00:55:58,288 --> 00:55:59,688
It was getting flat...
1222
00:55:59,755 --> 00:56:01,024
[ALL TALKING]
1223
00:56:04,793 --> 00:56:06,529
You could've at least said something.
1224
00:56:08,330 --> 00:56:10,399
Let me give you
a fact, okay?
1225
00:56:10,466 --> 00:56:13,236
If a guy walked through the door right now with a gun and said,
1226
00:56:13,303 --> 00:56:15,372
I'm gonna shoot one of you.
Who's it gonna be?
1227
00:56:16,272 --> 00:56:17,840
I'd tell him to shoot me.
1228
00:56:17,907 --> 00:56:20,009
Without even thinking, 100% percent me.
1229
00:56:22,711 --> 00:56:25,180
Well, you know what we have to do now?
1230
00:56:27,082 --> 00:56:28,616
We gotta go boost a cow.
1231
00:56:28,684 --> 00:56:31,354
[WILSON PICKETT'S DON'T FIGHT IT PLAYING]
1232
00:56:31,421 --> 00:56:33,055
♪ You'd better get on up...
1233
00:56:33,122 --> 00:56:34,223
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
1234
00:56:34,290 --> 00:56:36,158
♪ And get that groove... ♪
1235
00:56:36,225 --> 00:56:38,360
Yes. We're taking...
We're doing it.
1236
00:56:38,427 --> 00:56:40,029
Hard left.
1237
00:56:40,096 --> 00:56:42,131
-Into the...
Into the trailer.
-[MOOING]
1238
00:56:42,198 --> 00:56:45,667
What do you boys want a cow for, anyway?
1239
00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,937
Uh, it...
It's for a, uh...
1240
00:56:48,003 --> 00:56:52,909
Uh, a religious ceremony that, uh, we perform.
1241
00:56:52,975 --> 00:56:54,477
[MOOING]
1242
00:56:55,478 --> 00:56:57,780
Whoa.
Whoa. Oh.
1243
00:56:57,847 --> 00:56:59,415
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1244
00:56:59,482 --> 00:57:00,950
It's a... It's a...
1245
00:57:01,016 --> 00:57:03,519
A celestial thing that we like to do.
1246
00:57:03,586 --> 00:57:07,522
-You must be from Hollywood.
-Yeah.
1247
00:57:07,590 --> 00:57:10,026
This cow oughta jump at the chance to meet Marilyn.
1248
00:57:11,293 --> 00:57:12,695
All right, on three.
1249
00:57:15,665 --> 00:57:17,467
It... It's for my mother.
1250
00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:19,636
[WHINING]
1251
00:57:21,504 --> 00:57:23,139
It's gonna cost you more.
1252
00:57:24,340 --> 00:57:25,909
Yes. Go.
1253
00:57:26,842 --> 00:57:28,244
Take it home.
1254
00:57:28,310 --> 00:57:29,379
[MOOING]
1255
00:57:30,913 --> 00:57:32,649
♪ You're too much, baby
1256
00:57:34,049 --> 00:57:36,452
♪ I'd like to make you mine...
1257
00:57:36,519 --> 00:57:37,986
We're gonna try again.
1258
00:57:39,255 --> 00:57:41,391
Roy? This cow moves for no man.
1259
00:57:43,292 --> 00:57:45,028
Rosie?
Get in the trailer.
1260
00:57:45,661 --> 00:57:47,096
[MOOING]
1261
00:57:47,163 --> 00:57:50,967
♪ So don't fight it, oh baby ♪
1262
00:57:51,033 --> 00:57:52,335
[MOOING]
1263
00:57:53,702 --> 00:57:57,906
I would walk miles through the desert,
1264
00:57:57,973 --> 00:58:00,610
just to help you on with your coat.
1265
00:58:00,676 --> 00:58:03,379
Oh. Well, that'll impress her.
1266
00:58:03,445 --> 00:58:05,515
Come on, Dood. She's gonna think you're a sap.
1267
00:58:06,682 --> 00:58:08,216
How about I just say the truth?
1268
00:58:08,284 --> 00:58:09,986
I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused,
1269
00:58:10,052 --> 00:58:12,822
but I just had to meet you once before I died.
1270
00:58:12,889 --> 00:58:16,492
Why don't you go back to, Hi, my name is Scott Foreman.
Thanks for talking for me.
1271
00:58:16,558 --> 00:58:18,094
[LAUGHS]
1272
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:22,131
What are you gonna say, Roy?
And it better not be any I wanna lay on top of you stuff.
1274
00:58:22,198 --> 00:58:23,700
You can't say that to Marilyn.
1275
00:58:24,767 --> 00:58:25,969
Well? Roy?
1276
00:58:28,504 --> 00:58:30,173
All right. I make it in.
1277
00:58:31,407 --> 00:58:32,675
I say...
1278
00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:37,145
I love you.
1279
00:58:38,448 --> 00:58:41,549
I love you more than I've loved any woman.
1280
00:58:41,617 --> 00:58:44,721
I've waited for you longer than I've waited for any woman.
1281
00:58:45,688 --> 00:58:47,724
I'm a man on my knees.
1282
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:52,795
Roy, did you just make that up?
1283
00:58:52,862 --> 00:58:54,997
-It's good stuff, isn't it?
-Yeah.
1284
00:58:55,064 --> 00:58:57,566
Oh, you didn't make that up.
The first part's fromGone With the Wind.
1285
00:58:57,633 --> 00:59:01,069
-[NED LAUGHS]
-Yeah, but I added the stuff about the knees.
1286
00:59:01,136 --> 00:59:03,372
-The knees are cherry.
-[CHUCKLES]
1287
00:59:03,439 --> 00:59:05,473
-[WATER SPLASHING]
-[MOOING]
1288
00:59:05,541 --> 00:59:07,210
[MOOING LOUDER]
1289
00:59:09,778 --> 00:59:11,314
[MOOING]
1290
00:59:15,651 --> 00:59:17,252
[MARILYN GIGGLING]
1291
00:59:18,054 --> 00:59:19,822
They're very funny.
1292
00:59:20,556 --> 00:59:22,258
I'll take care of 'em.
1293
00:59:25,027 --> 00:59:27,396
Hey. You wanna moo for a while?
I... I'll do the water.
1294
00:59:27,463 --> 00:59:30,066
No, I don't.
I'm not good at a cow.
1295
00:59:32,735 --> 00:59:34,737
Moo. Moo.
1296
00:59:34,804 --> 00:59:36,405
All right, boys.
1297
00:59:36,472 --> 00:59:37,840
Moo.
1298
00:59:39,375 --> 00:59:41,310
Enough is enough.
1299
00:59:41,377 --> 00:59:43,912
Miss Monroe thinks you're very amusing,
1300
00:59:43,979 --> 00:59:46,548
but it's time to stop now.
1301
00:59:46,615 --> 00:59:48,051
You in the bush! Let's go!
1302
00:59:51,153 --> 00:59:52,555
Jackpot.
1303
00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:54,723
[SLOW ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING]
1304
01:00:01,063 --> 01:00:02,899
[MARILYN TALKING
BEHIND DOOR]
1305
01:00:04,467 --> 01:00:06,002
MARILYN: I'm not sure.
1306
01:00:11,307 --> 01:00:12,774
MARILYN: Yes?
1307
01:00:16,778 --> 01:00:19,147
Marilyn.
How you doing?
1308
01:00:19,214 --> 01:00:21,717
Oh. I'm sorry, you're on the phone.
1309
01:00:21,784 --> 01:00:24,720
Listen, could you get off?
I don't have a lot of time here.
1310
01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:26,221
Ha. [CLEARS THROAT]
1311
01:00:26,288 --> 01:00:27,623
[SNIFFS]
1312
01:00:27,690 --> 01:00:29,792
Hi. I'm Roy Darpinian.
1313
01:00:31,394 --> 01:00:33,962
Thanks for talking to me.
1314
01:00:34,029 --> 01:00:37,499
Miss Monroe wants this cow off her property. Shoo. Shoo.
1315
01:00:37,566 --> 01:00:39,502
We're trying, ma'am.
1316
01:00:39,569 --> 01:00:41,804
I suppose asking you for a little help's not a terrific idea.
1317
01:00:41,871 --> 01:00:44,340
Maybe you could hold up some grass?
Ma'am?
1318
01:00:46,542 --> 01:00:47,777
Oh, no.
1319
01:00:47,844 --> 01:00:49,145
Miss Monroe.
1320
01:00:49,946 --> 01:00:51,747
Miss Monroe.
1321
01:00:51,814 --> 01:00:53,850
-Well?
-What time and where?
1322
01:00:55,183 --> 01:00:57,286
-[DOOR CLOSING]
-She said no.
1323
01:00:59,021 --> 01:01:00,423
[COW MOOING]
1324
01:01:01,824 --> 01:01:03,459
WAITRESS: Order coming right up.
1325
01:01:08,397 --> 01:01:09,865
Of course she said no.
1326
01:01:09,932 --> 01:01:11,399
I mean, what's she gonna say?
1327
01:01:11,467 --> 01:01:13,035
A guy breaks into her house and asks her out on a date.
1328
01:01:13,102 --> 01:01:14,971
She's gonna say no.
1329
01:01:15,037 --> 01:01:17,071
Well, for the hell of it, I left Harve's number.
1330
01:01:17,139 --> 01:01:18,608
Oh, I'm sure she'll call.
1331
01:01:21,377 --> 01:01:23,879
So, how about it, Roy?
1332
01:01:23,946 --> 01:01:26,716
Get lost.
That's what she said.
1333
01:01:26,782 --> 01:01:28,350
She didn't say, andquot;Get lost.
1334
01:01:28,417 --> 01:01:30,486
Marilyn doesn't talk like you do, Roy.
1335
01:01:30,552 --> 01:01:32,355
She said, Get lost.
1336
01:01:33,756 --> 01:01:37,792
Or Get going; or Get off the bed.
1337
01:01:37,860 --> 01:01:39,428
I... I can't remember.
1338
01:01:39,495 --> 01:01:41,096
How did she look up-close?
1339
01:01:41,163 --> 01:01:44,032
Did... Were her eyes half open?
Did sheever close her mouth?
1340
01:01:44,099 --> 01:01:46,169
Roy, you gotta understand.
You were with her.
1341
01:01:46,235 --> 01:01:48,270
I mean, you got close enough to make a... A difference.
1342
01:01:48,337 --> 01:01:50,172
W... We just want a handout.
1343
01:01:50,239 --> 01:01:51,407
All right.
1344
01:01:52,808 --> 01:01:54,176
She was just lying there.
1345
01:01:54,242 --> 01:01:56,713
I gave her my best shot.
She said no.
1346
01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:02,351
I don't beat a dead horse for no woman.
I don't care who she is.
1347
01:02:04,453 --> 01:02:06,589
We should have just gone for Elizabeth Taylor.
1348
01:02:07,356 --> 01:02:09,792
This is so depressing.
1349
01:02:09,859 --> 01:02:11,594
We don't even deserve to be mice.
1350
01:02:18,901 --> 01:02:24,773
Well, look, guys.
Just 'cause we choked with Marilyn Monroe doesn't mean we have to go home with nothing.
1352
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:26,575
I mean, we can still turn this trip around.
1353
01:02:26,642 --> 01:02:28,877
What? And spoil our rotten time?
1354
01:02:28,944 --> 01:02:30,179
What are you talking about?
1355
01:02:30,245 --> 01:02:32,615
We're forgetting where we are.
1356
01:02:32,682 --> 01:02:35,149
I mean, we're in Hollywood.
We've been here all this time,
1357
01:02:35,217 --> 01:02:37,587
and we're still on the front porch.
1358
01:02:37,653 --> 01:02:39,154
I mean, come on.
As... As far as I'm concerned,
1359
01:02:39,222 --> 01:02:42,124
tonight, the only thing that should matter should be us.
1360
01:02:42,191 --> 01:02:44,058
We oughta be out there doing everything.
1361
01:02:44,126 --> 01:02:46,495
Everything we've never done before...
1362
01:02:46,562 --> 01:02:49,499
And some things we have but wouldn't mind doing again.
1363
01:02:50,833 --> 01:02:52,001
Huh?
1364
01:02:54,570 --> 01:02:56,672
[CAPITOLS' COOL JERK PLAYING]
1365
01:03:00,209 --> 01:03:01,844
♪ Cool jerk
1366
01:03:02,945 --> 01:03:04,380
♪ Cool jerk
1367
01:03:05,848 --> 01:03:07,716
♪ Cool jerk... ♪
1368
01:03:07,783 --> 01:03:09,952
ANNOUNCER: Here in the heart of Hollywood.
1369
01:03:10,019 --> 01:03:12,020
At the premiere of Barabbas.
1370
01:03:12,087 --> 01:03:13,989
Let's see who I see.
Huh, it is.
1371
01:03:14,056 --> 01:03:15,858
It's Mr. James Darren.
1372
01:03:15,925 --> 01:03:18,060
-One of the true great movie stars.
-[PEOPLE CHEERING]
1373
01:03:18,127 --> 01:03:20,395
ROY: Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy. Hey, I saw your last four movies.
1374
01:03:20,462 --> 01:03:21,697
I want my three bucks back.
1375
01:03:21,763 --> 01:03:23,699
-[SHUSHING]
-Guns of Navarone. Too loud.
1376
01:03:23,765 --> 01:03:25,000
-Roy. Roy.
-[LAUGHING]
1377
01:03:27,436 --> 01:03:28,737
It's Dean Martin.
1378
01:03:28,804 --> 01:03:30,038
Hey, hey, hey. Dino.
1379
01:03:30,105 --> 01:03:33,142
Hey, Dino. Over here.
Hey, Dino.
I saw your last movie.
1380
01:03:33,209 --> 01:03:35,111
Find yourself another Jerry!
1381
01:03:35,178 --> 01:03:37,412
Roy. [SHUSHING]
Everybody's staring at you, okay?
1382
01:03:37,479 --> 01:03:39,682
Why, what's the problem?
Never gonna see these people again.
1383
01:03:39,749 --> 01:03:42,084
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Chubby Checker.
1384
01:03:42,151 --> 01:03:44,486
Yes, The Twist...
1385
01:03:44,553 --> 01:03:46,255
Holy shit.
What's he doing here?
1386
01:03:46,321 --> 01:03:49,357
Hey. Hey, Chubby.
Chubby, hey.
1387
01:03:49,425 --> 01:03:51,393
Hey, Chubby. Hey, Chubby.
Chubby. Over here. Hey.
1388
01:03:51,460 --> 01:03:52,995
♪ Let's twist again
1389
01:03:53,062 --> 01:03:55,163
ALL: ♪ Like we did last summer
1390
01:03:55,230 --> 01:03:58,033
♪ Yeah, let's twist again
1391
01:03:58,100 --> 01:04:00,169
♪ Like we did last year
1392
01:04:00,235 --> 01:04:05,707
♪ Do you remember when things were really hummin'?
1393
01:04:05,774 --> 01:04:09,745
♪ Yeah, let's twist again
Twistin' time is here ♪
1394
01:04:09,812 --> 01:04:11,981
-I like that.
-[LAUGHTER]
1395
01:04:12,048 --> 01:04:13,281
You, Chubby.
1396
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:14,550
Like your shoes.
1397
01:04:14,617 --> 01:04:16,385
Hey, hey.
Put me down.
1398
01:04:16,452 --> 01:04:18,420
Bye, Chubby.
I'm Ned.
1399
01:04:18,487 --> 01:04:20,756
I don't believe it.
He was talking to us.
1400
01:04:20,823 --> 01:04:22,624
-NED: Where did Roy go?
-He's over there.
1401
01:04:22,691 --> 01:04:24,192
Ladies. Ladies.
Hi, my name is Roy.
1402
01:04:24,260 --> 01:04:26,462
I'll be your escort this evening. Come on, guys.
1403
01:04:26,528 --> 01:04:28,096
I don't believe this.
1404
01:04:28,163 --> 01:04:30,699
Come on, guys.
Let's go.
1405
01:04:30,766 --> 01:04:33,870
-SCOTT: He wants us to go.
-Well, let's go then. Come on.
Go. Go.
1406
01:04:35,037 --> 01:04:37,372
♪ Whoo
Cool Jerk
1407
01:04:38,941 --> 01:04:40,542
♪ Cool Jerk ♪
1408
01:04:40,609 --> 01:04:42,978
NED: Grauman's wasn't the only place we got thrown out of.
1409
01:04:43,044 --> 01:04:45,247
We got bounced from all the best clubs.
1410
01:04:45,314 --> 01:04:47,049
Some of them twice.
1411
01:04:47,115 --> 01:04:49,484
But Roy kept promising the best was yet to come.
1412
01:04:49,551 --> 01:04:51,220
[TATTOO MACHINE BUZZING]
1413
01:04:52,220 --> 01:04:55,290
SCOTT: Oh. Oh. No.
1414
01:04:55,357 --> 01:04:57,759
No, there's no way I'm doing that.
1415
01:04:57,826 --> 01:05:00,395
This is where you make your stand, Dood.
1416
01:05:00,462 --> 01:05:02,999
For life. You don't forget today.
1417
01:05:04,833 --> 01:05:07,436
Becky would throw a fit if she saw one of those on me.
1418
01:05:07,503 --> 01:05:09,805
So get it someplace she'll never figure to look.
1419
01:05:09,872 --> 01:05:11,339
She's gonna be my wife.
1420
01:05:11,407 --> 01:05:14,343
In 80 years she'll know every inch of my body.
1421
01:05:15,177 --> 01:05:17,346
Get it on your pecker.
1422
01:05:17,413 --> 01:05:19,582
So, who's not supposed to notice that thing on your butt?
1423
01:05:19,648 --> 01:05:22,317
Oh. Yeah, Roy. Yeah.
Born Raise Hell?
1424
01:05:22,384 --> 01:05:24,820
Well, my old man took me in when I was 10, all right?
1425
01:05:24,887 --> 01:05:26,789
But made me get it on my ass in case one day
1426
01:05:26,855 --> 01:05:29,658
-I get sick of looking at it.
-Your father got you tattooed when you were 10?
1427
01:05:29,725 --> 01:05:31,694
-Yeah.
-Uh-huh. Since when?
1428
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,296
After my mom split, whatever I wanted.
1429
01:05:34,363 --> 01:05:35,830
He didn't care what I did.
1430
01:05:35,898 --> 01:05:38,334
Hell, I don't even know why he wanted me to stick around.
1431
01:05:39,668 --> 01:05:42,271
See, but I got no more use for my old man.
1432
01:05:42,338 --> 01:05:46,008
I'm going somewhere where people'll give me some respect, listen to me.
1433
01:05:46,074 --> 01:05:48,543
Is that the only reason you joined up?
1434
01:05:48,610 --> 01:05:50,780
Because of your Dad?
Didn't it occur to you
1435
01:05:50,846 --> 01:05:53,682
that he wanted you to stay because he needed you more?
1436
01:05:53,749 --> 01:05:55,517
Oh, yeah.
It occurred to me.
1437
01:05:55,584 --> 01:05:57,752
Every Saturday morning when he made me step in the ring with him,
1438
01:05:57,820 --> 01:06:00,422
so he could hand me my ass.
Come on. Pick a tattoo.
1439
01:06:00,489 --> 01:06:02,624
It could be he hit you because it was the only...
1440
01:06:02,691 --> 01:06:05,593
Scott! This ain't the damn
Andy Griffith Show.
1441
01:06:05,661 --> 01:06:07,730
When I'm gone, he ain't gonna miss me one stinking bit.
1442
01:06:08,597 --> 01:06:10,066
Are you gonna miss him?
1443
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:12,668
No.
1444
01:06:13,268 --> 01:06:15,403
He's a loser.
1445
01:06:15,470 --> 01:06:18,506
If he had any guts, he'd have bought it in Korea, like your old man.
1446
01:06:18,574 --> 01:06:21,877
Why do either of you have to die to let the other one know you're still alive?
1447
01:06:21,943 --> 01:06:24,480
I mean, Jesus, Roy.
You still have your father, and...
1448
01:06:24,546 --> 01:06:26,481
And you don't even...
1449
01:06:26,548 --> 01:06:29,685
You just don't get it, do you?
1450
01:06:29,751 --> 01:06:33,189
I would do anything to have my father back for five minutes, you know?
1451
01:06:34,122 --> 01:06:35,457
Five minutes.
1452
01:06:36,592 --> 01:06:40,028
Just to talk to.
1453
01:06:40,095 --> 01:06:44,033
I have so few memories of...
Of my father.
And you know, I...
1454
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,403
Every day I lose something else.
1455
01:06:49,372 --> 01:06:52,540
I look at pictures and, uh...
1456
01:06:52,608 --> 01:06:55,378
And I don't know who I'm looking at.
1457
01:06:55,444 --> 01:06:58,180
Well, at least you know your old man loved you.
1458
01:06:58,246 --> 01:07:00,116
He was a hero. He gave you someone to respect.
1459
01:07:00,182 --> 01:07:02,283
Who cares if he was a hero, Roy?
1460
01:07:02,351 --> 01:07:03,519
He's dead.
1461
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:07,055
He's dead.
1462
01:07:07,122 --> 01:07:10,326
I can't even tell him about this, and...
1463
01:07:14,496 --> 01:07:16,098
SCOTT: It's okay, Ned.
1464
01:07:17,867 --> 01:07:19,101
It's all right.
1465
01:07:20,803 --> 01:07:23,203
All right. Who's next?
1466
01:07:23,271 --> 01:07:25,408
Oh... Him. Him. Him.
1467
01:07:37,118 --> 01:07:39,888
NED: Roy got Property of the U.S.A. tattooed on his butt.
1468
01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:43,258
-[PHONE RINGING]
-And then the Dood passed out.
1469
01:07:43,325 --> 01:07:46,595
We carried him home and crashed in Harvey's living room.
1470
01:07:46,662 --> 01:07:48,964
-[SCOTT SNORING]
-[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
1471
01:07:56,472 --> 01:07:58,640
Hello?
1472
01:07:58,707 --> 01:08:00,042
Yeah, I think Harvey's sleeping right now.
1473
01:08:00,108 --> 01:08:02,111
Why don't... Why don't you call back tomorrow?
1474
01:08:03,712 --> 01:08:05,081
Uh, yeah.
1475
01:08:07,716 --> 01:08:10,886
Uh, come on.
I'm beat. I don't...
1476
01:08:10,953 --> 01:08:13,022
Well, you don't sound like Marilyn.
1477
01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,857
Holy shit. Uh...
1478
01:08:15,924 --> 01:08:17,993
Yes. He is. Uh...
1479
01:08:18,060 --> 01:08:20,462
I'm sorry. Why don't you...
Please. Please hold on.
1480
01:08:20,529 --> 01:08:22,297
R... Roy! Get up.
Darpinian.
1481
01:08:22,363 --> 01:08:24,198
-Mmm. What?
-It's her. She's on the phone.
1482
01:08:24,265 --> 01:08:25,867
She wants to talk.
1483
01:08:25,934 --> 01:08:27,503
-Who?
-Marilyn.
1484
01:08:28,370 --> 01:08:30,404
-Really?
-I told you she'd call.
1485
01:08:30,471 --> 01:08:32,374
Didn't I tell you?
What did I tell you, huh?
1486
01:08:32,441 --> 01:08:33,975
I can't believe she's calling us.
1487
01:08:34,042 --> 01:08:35,344
For God's sake, just be nice.
1488
01:08:37,946 --> 01:08:39,348
Yeah? This is Roy.
1489
01:08:41,582 --> 01:08:43,018
Uh-huh, a soft top.
1490
01:08:45,220 --> 01:08:47,723
Yeah, no sweat.
Give me 20 minutes.
1491
01:08:49,358 --> 01:08:52,227
I knew she'd call.
She can't sleep.
1492
01:08:52,294 --> 01:08:54,596
She wants to take a drive down the Pacific Coast Highway.
1493
01:08:55,029 --> 01:08:56,764
Wow.
1494
01:08:56,832 --> 01:08:58,466
-I gotta go.
-NED: Wait, Roy.
1495
01:08:58,533 --> 01:09:01,937
Go in there and take a shower.
And use soap... And water.
1496
01:09:03,505 --> 01:09:05,774
You're at least gonna do something about your breath.
1497
01:09:05,841 --> 01:09:06,875
Right?
1498
01:09:06,941 --> 01:09:08,609
My breath is fine.
1499
01:09:08,676 --> 01:09:12,413
You can't smell your own breath.
And it's not fine.
1500
01:09:12,481 --> 01:09:14,416
HARVEY: It's not funny.
It's never happened before.
1501
01:09:14,483 --> 01:09:17,052
-Hey. Hey, hey.
-[SHRIEKS]
1502
01:09:17,118 --> 01:09:18,886
People are sleeping here.
1503
01:09:18,953 --> 01:09:22,657
Sorry, Harvey. I gotta get into your closets to find some clothes for Roy.
1504
01:09:22,724 --> 01:09:24,960
I need something clean and really good-looking.
1505
01:09:25,027 --> 01:09:26,361
What time is it?
1506
01:09:26,428 --> 01:09:27,830
Roy got the date with Marilyn. [CHUCKLES]
1507
01:09:29,464 --> 01:09:30,799
There. Happy now?
1508
01:09:30,866 --> 01:09:33,167
Thank you. You're gonna thank me for it.
1509
01:09:33,234 --> 01:09:35,202
Oh. I still think that's way too much Vaseline.
1510
01:09:35,270 --> 01:09:36,738
No. It's enough.
1511
01:09:36,805 --> 01:09:38,940
Yeah, for a petroleum field.
Get undressed, Roy.
1512
01:09:39,006 --> 01:09:41,408
You know, now would be a great time to try some Q-tips.
1513
01:09:41,475 --> 01:09:44,144
-I don't see clothes coming off.
-I gotta find my keys.
1514
01:09:44,212 --> 01:09:47,649
Roy. Roy, come back here. Roy.
1515
01:09:47,716 --> 01:09:50,586
Roy, you're not getting out of here until you shower, shave,
1516
01:09:50,653 --> 01:09:52,287
brush your teeth, put on different clothes
1517
01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:54,155
and go through a huge evolutionary change.
1518
01:09:54,221 --> 01:09:55,424
-Mmm-hmm.
-[TEARING]
1519
01:09:58,727 --> 01:10:02,031
-What are you doing, Bleuer?
-You're not wearing these clothes.
1520
01:10:03,265 --> 01:10:04,733
[CHUCKLES]
1521
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:07,736
And how come the way I dress never bugged either of you before? Huh?
1522
01:10:07,803 --> 01:10:10,172
Because you never went out with anyone we ever respected before.
1523
01:10:10,239 --> 01:10:11,505
Listen to us, Roy, okay?
1524
01:10:11,573 --> 01:10:13,208
Just... Just for a second, listen.
1525
01:10:13,275 --> 01:10:16,178
All right? It's not only you out there with her.
1526
01:10:16,244 --> 01:10:19,447
It's us. It's Harvey.
It's every guy you've ever met.
1527
01:10:19,514 --> 01:10:21,917
Everything you do from tomorrow on is already nothing.
1528
01:10:21,984 --> 01:10:25,087
It's never going to be as good as it is tonight. Never.
1529
01:10:28,424 --> 01:10:31,026
[SCOFFS] Jeez, it's only a date.
1530
01:10:33,328 --> 01:10:35,930
It's only a date, Roy?
1531
01:10:35,997 --> 01:10:38,934
-Why did it have to be you?
I mean, anybody else.
-[LIGHTER CLICKING]
1532
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,202
Anybody.
1533
01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:45,841
[WATER RUNNING]
1534
01:10:49,911 --> 01:10:51,714
Why don't you just take her, Bleuer?
1535
01:10:51,780 --> 01:10:53,949
Come on, Roy.
The shower's on.
1536
01:10:55,183 --> 01:10:58,119
Bleuer. You take her.
1537
01:10:58,186 --> 01:11:00,755
-Roy, I'm serious.
-So am I.
1538
01:11:00,822 --> 01:11:03,058
Somebody's gonna be late.
1539
01:11:03,125 --> 01:11:05,393
She'll have a better time with you.
1540
01:11:05,460 --> 01:11:07,796
How can I take her?
She made the date with you.
1541
01:11:07,863 --> 01:11:11,199
So tell her I sprained my ankle, and I can't leave the house.
1542
01:11:11,266 --> 01:11:13,568
Tell her anything you want.
She'll go for it.
1543
01:11:17,305 --> 01:11:18,740
Are... Are you serious?
1544
01:11:18,807 --> 01:11:20,576
Do you want me to take her?
1545
01:11:23,745 --> 01:11:25,314
She's waiting for somebody.
1546
01:11:28,784 --> 01:11:30,652
I just wanna canoe her, man.
1547
01:11:32,587 --> 01:11:34,390
You're the one who's carrying the torch.
1548
01:11:40,028 --> 01:11:41,664
Go on, get in the shower.
1549
01:11:43,298 --> 01:11:44,532
-Go.
-Uh...
1550
01:11:50,438 --> 01:11:52,641
NED: He gave me his date.
1551
01:11:52,708 --> 01:11:56,478
Roy-Badass-Darpinian gave me his date.
1552
01:11:56,544 --> 01:11:57,912
Maybe he was scared.
1553
01:11:57,979 --> 01:11:59,948
Maybe he just didn't want to take a bath.
1554
01:12:01,916 --> 01:12:03,719
There was one condition, however.
1555
01:12:03,785 --> 01:12:05,019
His shoes.
1556
01:12:05,086 --> 01:12:06,955
Some part of him had to be out there.
1557
01:12:08,656 --> 01:12:11,626
Who are we kidding?
I'm gonna be back here in 10 minutes.
1558
01:12:12,127 --> 01:12:13,295
Give her heat.
1559
01:12:15,130 --> 01:12:17,599
SCOTT: God, I wish I were you.
1560
01:12:23,005 --> 01:12:24,807
ROY: Dood?
Tell me something.
1561
01:12:27,443 --> 01:12:30,545
Who would you have taken if you'd won that contest?
1562
01:12:30,612 --> 01:12:31,780
Ball-park figure?
1563
01:12:32,514 --> 01:12:33,782
What contest?
1564
01:12:33,848 --> 01:12:35,684
You know, that Howdy Doody thing?
1565
01:12:36,785 --> 01:12:38,720
Remember, way back?
1566
01:12:38,787 --> 01:12:42,991
-I probably would have gone with Becky.
-Becky.
1567
01:12:43,058 --> 01:12:45,460
You didn't know Becky.
How could you take Becky?
1568
01:12:45,527 --> 01:12:46,795
You said today.
1569
01:12:46,861 --> 01:12:48,731
Are we talking about today, or...
1570
01:12:49,631 --> 01:12:51,033
What are we talking about?
1571
01:12:54,435 --> 01:12:57,639
Roy. I could never choose between you and Ned.
1572
01:12:58,540 --> 01:13:00,342
You're both my best friends.
1573
01:13:00,408 --> 01:13:03,878
How could I hurt one of you by taking the other?
1574
01:13:03,945 --> 01:13:05,748
Is that what you were looking for?
1575
01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:09,651
Ah, Dood.
1576
01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:12,955
You're so soft.
1577
01:13:17,091 --> 01:13:21,296
I always figured the only reason you hung around with me was because of Bleuer.
1579
01:13:21,363 --> 01:13:23,232
No. That's not true.
1580
01:13:24,732 --> 01:13:27,469
I'm... Used to you.
You know?
1581
01:13:29,571 --> 01:13:32,440
You never let me off the hook, ever.
1582
01:13:32,507 --> 01:13:36,911
I always end up doing what you want me to do, even if I feel guilty.
1583
01:13:36,978 --> 01:13:39,814
So, what you're saying is...
You don't like me
1584
01:13:39,881 --> 01:13:42,517
because I get you drunk, but you do like me
1585
01:13:42,584 --> 01:13:45,420
because I stick around to watch you throw up?
1586
01:13:45,486 --> 01:13:48,456
Yeah. Heh.
Something like that.
1587
01:13:58,266 --> 01:14:01,402
NED: Surprisingly, I actually made it her house.
1588
01:14:01,470 --> 01:14:04,372
She spent a real long time getting ready.
1589
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:06,541
I took that as a compliment.
1590
01:14:06,608 --> 01:14:10,212
The knot in my stomach was the size of a bowling ball.
1591
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:13,381
What was I gonna say to the world's greatest woman?
1592
01:14:13,448 --> 01:14:15,317
I mean, Roy could give me the date,
1593
01:14:15,384 --> 01:14:18,587
but he couldn't give me a personality.
1594
01:14:18,653 --> 01:14:22,458
And then, suddenly, there she was.
1595
01:14:32,100 --> 01:14:34,569
I couldn't take my eyes off her.
1596
01:14:34,636 --> 01:14:36,604
Which made driving rough.
1597
01:14:36,671 --> 01:14:38,840
But I figured, if I died right now,
1598
01:14:38,907 --> 01:14:42,110
it would be the high point of my life.
1599
01:14:42,177 --> 01:14:47,248
She didn't say anything.
She just stared at the ocean.
1600
01:14:47,315 --> 01:14:48,817
And I just stared at her.
1601
01:14:49,684 --> 01:14:51,520
The silence was deafening.
1602
01:14:52,220 --> 01:14:54,489
[POLICE SIREN BLARING]
1603
01:14:54,556 --> 01:14:56,325
I was never so glad to see a cop.
1604
01:14:57,459 --> 01:15:00,028
Uh, I know I wasn't going too fast.
1605
01:15:00,095 --> 01:15:01,829
Oh, it's...
It's probably like a...
1606
01:15:01,896 --> 01:15:04,232
Like a taillight or something, or...
1607
01:15:04,299 --> 01:15:05,667
I don't know, uh...
1608
01:15:06,434 --> 01:15:07,969
[SIREN TURNS OFF]
1609
01:15:08,036 --> 01:15:09,705
Don't worry.
I'll handle it.
1610
01:15:18,279 --> 01:15:19,714
Is there some problem, officer?
1611
01:15:19,781 --> 01:15:21,483
I... I know
I wasn't speeding.
1612
01:15:21,550 --> 01:15:23,885
Take out your driver's license and registration.
1613
01:15:23,952 --> 01:15:25,620
Uh, yes, sir.
1614
01:15:25,686 --> 01:15:27,188
Are you aware the car you are driving
1615
01:15:27,255 --> 01:15:28,924
was reported stolen four days ago?
1616
01:15:28,990 --> 01:15:30,526
No. I... I wasn't.
1617
01:15:31,726 --> 01:15:33,628
We're borrowing it from a friend of ours,
1618
01:15:33,694 --> 01:15:35,230
who borrowed it from his dad.
1619
01:15:37,265 --> 01:15:39,400
Jesus, that does sound pretty bad.
1620
01:15:39,467 --> 01:15:40,535
Registration?
1621
01:15:40,602 --> 01:15:42,370
I... I can't find it.
I... I mean...
1622
01:15:42,437 --> 01:15:43,905
Please, sir, you have to believe me.
1623
01:15:43,972 --> 01:15:47,041
This car can't be stolen.
It's... We borrowed it.
1624
01:15:47,108 --> 01:15:50,011
I... I swear to you on my father's grave. We...
1625
01:15:50,077 --> 01:15:52,947
MARILYN: I'm sure this is Mr. Darpinian's car, officer.
1626
01:15:53,014 --> 01:15:55,183
Um, I'm so bad with first names.
1627
01:15:55,250 --> 01:15:57,719
-It's, uh...
-Eddie.
1628
01:15:57,786 --> 01:16:01,355
Well, as a matter of fact, that is the registered owner's name. Eddie Darpinian.
1629
01:16:01,422 --> 01:16:03,924
That's Roy's dad.
1630
01:16:03,992 --> 01:16:06,795
I'm sorry, Miss Monroe.
It's probably a mistake out at Dispatch.
1631
01:16:06,861 --> 01:16:08,296
It happens.
1632
01:16:08,363 --> 01:16:11,466
You better have your friend here get this car home, pronto.
1633
01:16:11,533 --> 01:16:13,434
-Yes, sir.
-Ma'am?
1634
01:16:13,501 --> 01:16:15,537
Could I trouble you for an autograph?
1635
01:16:16,371 --> 01:16:17,739
Uh, to Fred.
1636
01:16:25,580 --> 01:16:27,082
Good evening, ma'am.
1637
01:16:27,149 --> 01:16:28,417
Happy motoring.
1638
01:16:35,223 --> 01:16:36,825
[SIGHS IN RELIEF]
1639
01:16:37,892 --> 01:16:39,094
Thank you.
1640
01:16:42,930 --> 01:16:48,202
♪ Out of my dreams
1641
01:16:48,269 --> 01:16:50,372
♪ Just like a wave to the shore...
1642
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:51,706
It's nice here.
1643
01:16:51,772 --> 01:16:53,842
It's perfect, Ned.
1644
01:16:53,909 --> 01:16:58,179
♪ You came into my world
1645
01:16:58,246 --> 01:17:00,582
♪ And I know
1646
01:17:01,516 --> 01:17:04,486
♪ Just hoping you'll hold me
1647
01:17:04,553 --> 01:17:07,522
♪ Tonight, I understand
1648
01:17:07,589 --> 01:17:09,091
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
1649
01:17:10,592 --> 01:17:14,161
♪ The magic of the moment
1650
01:17:14,229 --> 01:17:16,098
♪ You are here
1651
01:17:16,164 --> 01:17:18,266
♪ I touch you
1652
01:17:18,333 --> 01:17:19,601
♪ I hold you... ♪
1653
01:17:19,667 --> 01:17:22,904
NED: Being with her was a dream come true.
1654
01:17:22,971 --> 01:17:25,071
I was floating.
1655
01:17:25,139 --> 01:17:27,742
-She wasn't like a movie star.
-Tell me, where are you from?
1656
01:17:27,809 --> 01:17:29,944
She talked about regular things.
1657
01:17:30,011 --> 01:17:32,313
She mostly wanted to know about me,
1658
01:17:32,380 --> 01:17:35,584
who I was, how I wound up on her doorstep.
1659
01:17:37,084 --> 01:17:41,222
She made it so easy to talk.
It just flowed.
1660
01:17:41,289 --> 01:17:43,491
I told her about the trip to Hollywood.
1661
01:17:43,557 --> 01:17:45,326
About Roy and the Dood.
1662
01:17:45,393 --> 01:17:47,729
Everything we went through to meet her.
1663
01:17:47,796 --> 01:17:50,164
When I told her about the nude beach,
1664
01:17:50,231 --> 01:17:51,633
she laughed.
1665
01:17:52,434 --> 01:17:53,768
I made her laugh.
1666
01:17:53,835 --> 01:17:55,437
[LAUGHING]
1667
01:17:55,503 --> 01:17:58,907
Then she said I was really lucky to have good friends.
1668
01:18:00,375 --> 01:18:02,677
I didn't think much about it, but I just went on about
1669
01:18:02,744 --> 01:18:04,879
the first autograph she sent, and the Bible,
1670
01:18:04,946 --> 01:18:07,115
and how she cut the strings on Howdy
1671
01:18:07,182 --> 01:18:09,017
and became my number one hero.
1672
01:18:10,652 --> 01:18:13,955
And I thought she'd laugh again, but she didn't.
1673
01:18:15,056 --> 01:18:17,758
I don't know, Ned.
1674
01:18:17,825 --> 01:18:20,062
I'd rather be your friend than your hero.
1675
01:18:20,728 --> 01:18:22,364
Friends last longer.
1676
01:18:22,431 --> 01:18:23,831
♪ With your smile
1677
01:18:25,967 --> 01:18:30,272
♪ And I believe
1678
01:18:30,338 --> 01:18:33,541
♪ What your eyes...
1679
01:18:33,608 --> 01:18:35,644
I wish
these were diamonds.
1680
01:18:36,744 --> 01:18:40,614
♪ The magic Of the moment
1681
01:18:40,681 --> 01:18:44,318
♪ Is now and always
1682
01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:46,988
♪ With you
1683
01:18:47,055 --> 01:18:50,726
♪ Magic of the moment
1684
01:18:54,662 --> 01:18:59,768
♪ The magic of the moment...
1685
01:19:01,502 --> 01:19:03,839
-Thanks for the drive, Ned.
-Yeah.
1686
01:19:12,814 --> 01:19:16,684
♪ The magic of the moment
1687
01:19:16,751 --> 01:19:20,121
♪ Is now and always
1688
01:19:20,188 --> 01:19:23,058
♪ With you
1689
01:19:28,229 --> 01:19:30,565
♪ With you ♪
1690
01:19:35,003 --> 01:19:37,605
NED: Roy. Dood.
Where are you guys?
1691
01:19:37,672 --> 01:19:40,441
Bleuer. Bleuer.
You son of a bitch.
1692
01:19:40,508 --> 01:19:42,677
-You went for it.
What happened?
-[LAUGHING]
1693
01:19:42,744 --> 01:19:43,878
You look like you've seen a ghost.
1694
01:19:43,945 --> 01:19:45,447
Get this guy to a confessional.
1695
01:19:45,514 --> 01:19:47,615
-What happened?
-Well, it was incredible.
1696
01:19:47,682 --> 01:19:51,119
I mean, it was unbelievable.
She's... She's the most incredible woman.
1697
01:19:51,185 --> 01:19:53,354
She's... She's not at all like her films, you know?
1698
01:19:53,421 --> 01:19:55,456
She was actually flattered that we found her so attractive.
1699
01:19:55,523 --> 01:19:58,393
Wait a minute.
Before you tell me anything, how was the canoe trip?
1700
01:19:59,694 --> 01:20:01,963
Well, uh, I hate to disappoint you, Roy,
1701
01:20:02,030 --> 01:20:03,697
-but I... I...
-No. No. No.
1702
01:20:03,765 --> 01:20:05,633
Don't even te...
1703
01:20:05,700 --> 01:20:07,602
First, you mooch my date, and then you don't even canoe her?
1704
01:20:07,669 --> 01:20:09,704
-The Dood could've done that.
-None of us would've.
1705
01:20:09,771 --> 01:20:11,840
I would've done it.
1706
01:20:11,906 --> 01:20:14,642
If I'm taking her on a date, I'm gonna leave her something to remember me by.
1707
01:20:14,709 --> 01:20:17,077
Don't worry, Roy.
She'll remember you.
1708
01:20:18,380 --> 01:20:19,881
I gave her your shoes.
1709
01:20:34,929 --> 01:20:36,364
Hey, what's the big idea?
1710
01:20:37,098 --> 01:20:38,466
You're the big idea.
1711
01:20:39,066 --> 01:20:40,235
Home, Death.
1712
01:20:45,740 --> 01:20:47,642
I can't. I can't.
1713
01:20:51,145 --> 01:20:54,348
We're sick of hearing you say that. I can't.
1714
01:20:54,415 --> 01:20:55,917
Know what? That's not even your word anymore.
1715
01:20:55,983 --> 01:20:58,286
From now on, when you don't wanna do something,
1716
01:20:58,352 --> 01:21:00,722
your new word is, I'm a pussy.
1717
01:21:00,789 --> 01:21:02,456
You got that?
andquot;I'm a pussy.
1718
01:21:02,523 --> 01:21:04,859
-andquot;I'm a pussy.
-What if I get into an accident?
1719
01:21:04,926 --> 01:21:06,461
It won't matter.
1720
01:21:06,527 --> 01:21:09,063
You don't have a license, you don't have insurance,
1721
01:21:09,130 --> 01:21:10,832
and you're driving a stolen car.
1722
01:21:14,736 --> 01:21:15,904
Should I?
1723
01:21:17,238 --> 01:21:18,907
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1724
01:21:22,444 --> 01:21:25,479
Hey. Hey!
Where you going?
1725
01:21:25,546 --> 01:21:27,448
Hey, Roy. Where...
Where you going?
1726
01:21:27,515 --> 01:21:29,183
-Sorry, Harve. We gotta split.
-What about Marilyn?
1727
01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:31,185
You didn't tell me about the date.
1728
01:21:31,252 --> 01:21:33,254
-You owe me some details.
-[CAR STARTS]
1729
01:21:33,321 --> 01:21:35,490
This is no way to treat a relative.
1730
01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:37,458
Harvey, I was gonna come in, but I thought it was too late.
1731
01:21:37,525 --> 01:21:38,826
BOTH: Bye, Harve.
1732
01:21:41,095 --> 01:21:42,396
Call me.
1733
01:21:42,463 --> 01:21:44,099
[OTIS REDDING'S RESPECT PLAYING]
1734
01:21:47,468 --> 01:21:48,501
[CAR HONKS]
1735
01:21:48,569 --> 01:21:50,171
♪ What you want
1736
01:21:50,238 --> 01:21:52,740
♪ Honey, you got it...
1737
01:21:52,807 --> 01:21:56,077
NED: Dood held that wheel like he'd never let go.
1738
01:21:56,144 --> 01:21:57,612
It was fun.
1739
01:21:57,679 --> 01:22:00,481
I'd never seen Darpinian in the back seat.
1740
01:22:00,548 --> 01:22:02,650
Things had definitely changed.
1741
01:22:02,717 --> 01:22:04,451
♪ Hey, hey, hey
1742
01:22:05,553 --> 01:22:07,122
♪ Yeah, yeah...
1743
01:22:08,690 --> 01:22:10,525
[TIRES SCREECH]
1744
01:22:10,591 --> 01:22:12,160
♪ Honey, if you want it... ♪
1745
01:22:13,061 --> 01:22:15,830
NED: Roy, check this out.
1746
01:22:15,897 --> 01:22:17,832
-All right.
Give 'em hell, Dood.
-[CHUCKLES]
1747
01:22:17,899 --> 01:22:19,333
-[TIRES SCREECH]
-There, there, there.
1748
01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:21,335
NED: Even though we were scared to death,
1749
01:22:21,403 --> 01:22:24,138
we decided to let Dood drive all the way home.
1750
01:22:24,205 --> 01:22:25,373
We were cutting it close.
1751
01:22:25,440 --> 01:22:27,607
Roy was shipping out that afternoon.
1752
01:22:27,675 --> 01:22:31,479
But he said he still had some personal business to take care of first.
1753
01:22:37,485 --> 01:22:39,786
Brought your car back.
1754
01:22:39,854 --> 01:22:42,257
There's about 50 or 75 bucks' worth of damage.
1755
01:22:43,958 --> 01:22:45,727
I figured you for gone already.
1756
01:22:46,260 --> 01:22:47,429
It's Saturday.
1757
01:22:48,496 --> 01:22:50,065
I got ring time coming.
1758
01:22:56,304 --> 01:22:57,472
Okay.
1759
01:23:04,512 --> 01:23:05,846
Put 'em up.
1760
01:23:05,913 --> 01:23:07,081
Get 'em up
1761
01:23:20,695 --> 01:23:21,696
[GRUNTING]
1762
01:23:29,203 --> 01:23:30,372
[GRUNTING]
1763
01:23:37,078 --> 01:23:38,213
[GRUNTING]
1764
01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:44,386
[GRUNTING]
1765
01:23:49,257 --> 01:23:50,424
[GRUNTING]
1766
01:23:59,033 --> 01:24:00,101
[GRUNTING]
1767
01:24:10,044 --> 01:24:11,646
[PANTING]
1768
01:24:15,316 --> 01:24:16,785
What's gotten into you?
1769
01:24:18,753 --> 01:24:20,255
Nothing. I just, uh...
1770
01:24:22,490 --> 01:24:26,027
Had a few minutes to kill before I got on the train, and I...
1771
01:24:27,428 --> 01:24:29,864
I wanted to spend 'em with you. [SOBBING]
1772
01:24:37,138 --> 01:24:39,340
I want you to have this, Roy.
1773
01:24:41,376 --> 01:24:43,011
You sure?
1774
01:24:43,077 --> 01:24:44,446
Yeah. Yeah.
1775
01:24:44,913 --> 01:24:46,647
Yeah.
1776
01:24:46,714 --> 01:24:49,083
Wedding won't be the same without you.
1777
01:24:49,150 --> 01:24:51,552
-You know all your kids are gonna look like this guy?
-[CHUCKLES]
1778
01:24:51,619 --> 01:24:52,754
Mmm.
1779
01:24:55,622 --> 01:24:56,890
Don't die over there.
1780
01:24:56,957 --> 01:24:59,427
Shit. That's the last thing I'm gonna do.
1781
01:25:02,330 --> 01:25:03,698
Don't get crazy.
1782
01:25:06,467 --> 01:25:08,736
I'm gonna miss you, Roy.
1783
01:25:08,803 --> 01:25:10,305
Thanks for getting me out of town.
1784
01:25:27,655 --> 01:25:30,558
Um, give 'em some heat.
1785
01:25:32,126 --> 01:25:33,194
Yeah.
1786
01:25:45,840 --> 01:25:47,775
CONDUCTOR: All aboard.
1787
01:25:58,119 --> 01:26:00,554
NED: I was gonna miss him.
1788
01:26:00,621 --> 01:26:04,658
Roy was the kind of guy who pushed you into life.
1789
01:26:04,725 --> 01:26:09,497
He forced us to become men a little faster.
1790
01:26:09,563 --> 01:26:12,032
I kind of felt sorry for the Army, though.
1791
01:26:12,099 --> 01:26:14,469
God, they were actually gonna give Roy a gun.
1792
01:26:20,007 --> 01:26:23,110
REPORTER [ON RADIO]: The Dodgers trounce the Mets 10-to-2.
1793
01:26:23,177 --> 01:26:25,179
The present temperature is 88 degrees,
1794
01:26:25,246 --> 01:26:27,481
and the relative humidity is 48.
1795
01:26:27,548 --> 01:26:29,550
And the wind is calm.
1796
01:26:29,617 --> 01:26:31,919
Sad news from Hollywood today.
1797
01:26:31,986 --> 01:26:36,157
Screen star Marilyn Monroe was found dead this morning in her Brentwood home.
1798
01:26:36,223 --> 01:26:39,260
Thirty-six-year-old actress was discovered by her housekeeper,
1799
01:26:39,327 --> 01:26:42,396
the apparent victim of an overdose of sleeping pills.
1800
01:26:42,463 --> 01:26:45,933
The suicide is a tragic end to a glamorous career.
1801
01:26:46,000 --> 01:26:48,368
Miss Monroe was beloved the world over,
1802
01:26:48,435 --> 01:26:51,505
and received over 5,000 fan letters a week.
1803
01:26:51,572 --> 01:26:53,941
In a recent interview, the star was quoted as saying
1804
01:26:54,007 --> 01:26:56,442
that she andquot;never knew happiness as a child,
1805
01:26:56,510 --> 01:26:59,814
andquot;and therefore never took it for granted as an adult.
1806
01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:03,117
Sad, the world mourns the passing of Marilyn Monroe.
1807
01:27:03,885 --> 01:27:06,787
Dead at 36.
1808
01:27:06,854 --> 01:27:11,425
NED: When Marilyn said I was lucky to have friends, she was right.
1809
01:27:11,492 --> 01:27:13,494
I did have good friends.
1810
01:27:13,561 --> 01:27:15,597
The best.
1811
01:27:15,663 --> 01:27:18,499
But it seemed unlikely I'd make any new ones.
1812
01:27:18,565 --> 01:27:19,968
What was wrong with me?
1813
01:27:20,034 --> 01:27:21,568
I could kiss a movie star,
1814
01:27:21,636 --> 01:27:24,738
but I couldn't say one word to this girl.
1815
01:27:24,805 --> 01:27:26,975
I'm glad Roy wasn't there to witness the big cop-out.
1816
01:27:27,041 --> 01:27:29,009
He would've been all over me.
1817
01:27:29,076 --> 01:27:30,978
Bleuer, you gotta go for it.
1818
01:27:31,044 --> 01:27:33,281
-No guts, no glory.
-Come on, one more.
1819
01:27:33,347 --> 01:27:36,317
And then I thought, what the hell?
1820
01:27:36,384 --> 01:27:38,619
You can't rub BenGay on a heartache.
1821
01:27:38,686 --> 01:27:40,019
[ALL TALKING]
1822
01:27:40,087 --> 01:27:42,022
GUY: Get her in there.
Let's go.
1823
01:27:42,089 --> 01:27:43,324
How many so far?
1824
01:27:43,390 --> 01:27:47,694
Um... Uh...
You're 11, I think.
1825
01:27:47,761 --> 01:27:51,532
Well, uh, underthe circumstances, I'm, uh, Ned.
1826
01:27:51,598 --> 01:27:53,401
Ned Bleuer.
1827
01:27:53,467 --> 01:27:55,001
I'm Melissa Smock.
1828
01:27:55,069 --> 01:27:57,639
Smock? Oh, uh... Uh...
1829
01:27:59,407 --> 01:28:00,975
-Smock.
-[GIGGLES]
1830
01:28:02,710 --> 01:28:05,612
NED: So I made a date with Miss Smock.
1831
01:28:05,679 --> 01:28:07,114
That was brave.
1832
01:28:07,181 --> 01:28:10,483
Just saying her name is brave.
1833
01:28:10,551 --> 01:28:13,253
I got a letter from Roy the other day, which shocked me.
1834
01:28:13,320 --> 01:28:15,657
Who knew he could read or write?
1835
01:28:15,723 --> 01:28:17,291
He said he was thinking about the summer,
1836
01:28:17,358 --> 01:28:18,959
and realized that the thing about it
1837
01:28:19,026 --> 01:28:21,663
was it never would have happened if we didn't show up.
1838
01:28:22,630 --> 01:28:24,332
You know what scares me?
1839
01:28:24,399 --> 01:28:26,134
I understand him.
1840
01:28:26,200 --> 01:28:29,404
And even more, I think he's right.
1841
01:28:29,470 --> 01:28:31,973
Nothing ever happens if you don't show up.
1842
01:28:33,274 --> 01:28:35,375
♪ Love can be a shame
1843
01:28:35,442 --> 01:28:37,945
♪ I know of a fool you see
1844
01:28:38,012 --> 01:28:40,048
♪ For that fool is me
1845
01:28:40,982 --> 01:28:42,349
♪ Tell me why...
1846
01:28:42,416 --> 01:28:45,152
You poor, poor boy.
1847
01:28:45,219 --> 01:28:47,121
Welcome to Hollywood, fellas.
1848
01:28:52,894 --> 01:28:55,229
♪ Why do birds sing...
1849
01:28:55,296 --> 01:28:56,830
Oh, no.
1850
01:28:56,897 --> 01:28:58,566
She's my mother.
1851
01:28:58,633 --> 01:29:02,003
♪ Why do they fall in love...
1852
01:29:03,003 --> 01:29:04,438
Marilyn.
1853
01:29:04,505 --> 01:29:07,107
Did you ever hear of a rich pole vaulter?
1854
01:29:07,174 --> 01:29:09,176
What does that mean?
1855
01:29:09,243 --> 01:29:13,481
I just wanna lay on top of you and see where it goes from there.
1856
01:29:13,548 --> 01:29:15,683
Boy. You haven't had much experience with women, have you?
1857
01:29:15,750 --> 01:29:17,251
Run, Roy.
It's a better plan.
1858
01:29:19,319 --> 01:29:20,888
[TIRES SCREECHING]
1859
01:29:20,954 --> 01:29:21,955
-Dood, what?
-[WHINING]
1860
01:29:22,022 --> 01:29:23,191
-Roy, Roy, Roy.
-Unjinxed.
1861
01:29:23,658 --> 01:29:25,059
[MOOS]
1862
01:29:26,193 --> 01:29:27,595
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1863
01:29:27,662 --> 01:29:29,163
I'm not good at a cow.
1864
01:29:29,230 --> 01:29:32,767
A girl like I, almost never gets to meet really interesting men.
1865
01:29:37,104 --> 01:29:38,372
Jackpot.
1866
01:29:38,439 --> 01:29:39,774
Wow.
1867
01:29:39,840 --> 01:29:41,142
I knew she'd call.
1868
01:29:42,776 --> 01:29:43,911
Marilyn.
1869
01:29:43,978 --> 01:29:45,246
Ha.
1870
01:29:45,312 --> 01:29:46,814
Why don't you just take her, Bleuer?
1871
01:29:49,850 --> 01:29:52,652
Good evening, ma'am.
Happy motoring.
1872
01:29:52,719 --> 01:29:54,088
BOTH: Bye, Harve.
1873
01:29:55,889 --> 01:29:57,024
There, there, there.
1874
01:30:11,338 --> 01:30:14,842
♪ Why do fools
1875
01:30:14,909 --> 01:30:18,212
♪ Fall in love?
1876
01:30:20,981 --> 01:30:24,751
♪ Why do fools
1877
01:30:24,818 --> 01:30:28,189
♪ Fall in love?
1878
01:30:30,825 --> 01:30:34,294
♪ Why do birds sing so gay?
1879
01:30:34,361 --> 01:30:36,730
♪ And lovers await the break of day
1880
01:30:36,797 --> 01:30:40,400
♪ Why do they fall in love?
1881
01:30:40,467 --> 01:30:44,205
♪ Why does the rain fall from up above?
1882
01:30:44,271 --> 01:30:46,674
♪ Why do fools fall in love?
1883
01:30:46,741 --> 01:30:50,477
♪ Why do they fall in love?
1884
01:30:50,544 --> 01:30:54,615
♪ Why does my heart skip a crazy beat?
1885
01:30:54,682 --> 01:30:56,483
♪ Before I know
1886
01:30:56,550 --> 01:30:59,887
♪ It will reach defeat
1887
01:31:00,988 --> 01:31:02,290
♪ Tell me why
1888
01:31:02,356 --> 01:31:03,956
♪ Oh, tell me
1889
01:31:04,024 --> 01:31:05,693
♪ Tell me
1890
01:31:05,760 --> 01:31:08,863
♪ Tell me why
Oh, tell me
1891
01:31:08,929 --> 01:31:10,564
♪ Tell me why
1892
01:31:10,630 --> 01:31:11,865
♪ Tell me why
1893
01:31:11,932 --> 01:31:13,767
♪ Oh, oh, yeah
We got it goin' on
1894
01:31:13,834 --> 01:31:16,202
♪ Oh, oh, yeah
We got it goin' on
1895
01:31:16,270 --> 01:31:18,338
♪ Oh, oh, yeah
We got it goin' on
1896
01:31:18,405 --> 01:31:21,541
♪ Oh, oh, yeah
We got it goin' on
1897
01:31:21,609 --> 01:31:25,146
♪ Oh, tell me
Tell me
1898
01:31:26,613 --> 01:31:28,448
♪ Oh, tell me
1899
01:31:28,515 --> 01:31:30,885
♪ Tell me
1900
01:31:30,952 --> 01:31:32,286
♪ Why do they? ♪